State lawmakers in Madison face the daunting task of trying to improve Wisconsin’s business climate as numbers released recently indicate that Wisconsin ranks 44th in the nation. Wisconsin is not seen as a place where businesses thrive, and taxes are seen as too high, so corporations avoid starting up or relocating to the state. However, Wisconsin officials will be looking to change the negative perceptions into positive ones in the coming years through an initiative called “Free Wisconsin.”

The first part of the plan is for the state to construct free infrastructure for potential businesses. Said one CEO of a company not located in Wisconsin: “We can’t afford to build roads, especially when our trucks destroy those roads every few years. And forget about rail! If states want us to employ their citizens, they need to build all that for us.” 

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Tuesday, July 17, 2007 18619
Milwaukee Public Schools will begin its scaling down of actual education in its schools in order to better reproduce the criminal justice system its students are preparing themselves for. The latest budget has job losses in all areas except for social workers, psychologists, safety assistants, and nurses. Teachers will be teaching more students for more hours with less help, but the plan is for the psychologists and social workers to convince students to behave better. If that doesn’t work, of course, the safety assistants are specially trained to subdue students without the use of plastic handcuffs, pepper spray, or knowledge of martial arts by saying things like, “Don’t you make me get up out this desk!” If the safety assistants are useless, the nurses can offer ice packs for black eyes.
Friday, October 26, 2007 15062
It’s hard enough convincing my parents to give me a little cash once in a while, but now I have to pay extra when I buy some stuff at the liquor store with the credit card they gave me. How am I supposed to feel right about buying a couple of forties when they’re taking an extra $.50 just to process my card?

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