Dear Biker Chick

How is it best to score with a biker chick?  Signed Nad Suburb

It's probably best when you are both satisfied afterwards, but be certain she is. If you're asking how to get her to fall in love with you, it's the same with all women: have the balls to ask her out, buy her a few drinks, tell her she looks pretty fairly often and that the scar on her face adds character, and ask to see her tattoos. You might want to listen to what she says, or at least pretend to, and then you've got her, unless you take her out to the parking lot and you drive a Kia or one of those confused mini-SUVs. 

Dear Biker Chick

That guy holding the sign is kinda cute.  Are you dating him?  Is there anyway to make his picture load faster so I don't have so much time to diddle while the page downloads?

Dear Unsigned Submitter, The guy holding the sign is Homeless John, not because he actually is homeless, but because he looks homeless. Sort of like you look to your friends using your parents' NetZero dial-up connection and complaining about speed. Thanks for the advice, anyhow. I'm not exactly a web designer, but I've got a few photos of me I've resized before, so we got the size a bit smaller for you, and all the other web surfers out there who like things small. As for Homeless John's availability. I wouldn't say we're seeing each other, but he is a good man. Submit a photo so we can post it on our web page, and John can determine if you're his type. ---> and pick up some of those cigars over there while you're at it or click on a damn google ad so I can get some new pipes on my bike.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007 14862
A sweet little Plymouth girl made over 100 prank phone calls in order to test the efficacy of Sheboygan’s 911 system. The young lady performed a vital public service, and should be commended for her efforts. Surely, countless lives will be saved because this little heroine took it upon herself to test the system and expose the faults that exist in our current 911 configuration, both in technology and in dealing with people. “You’d think someone would have gotten her name before she made 100 pranks for Chrissake!” said Sheboygan police officer Jim Bratz. “I mean, she’s eight—just ask her. I’m not putting those operators down or anything, but they’re freakin stupider than eight-year-olds, to be honest with you.”
Friday, February 17, 2012 6861
Rick Santorum supporter, Wisconsin native, and near-billionaire Foster Friess made a statement that seemed to need a little explaining when he implied that the use of aspirin between a woman's knees could prevent pregnancies. Was he making a joke? Was this a viable option in the past? Does aspirin act as a spermicide? Does he know how to make babies? Real Wisconsin News decided to find out the answers to some of these questions.

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