The US State Department, in response to accusations that Americans are uninformed about world politics, has released a new plan to help the most powerful nation’s people to better understand the rest of the world. The method used will not include memorization or difficult tests. Rather, the United States will rename other countries, governments, and religions to make discussing them more relevant to Americans. “Most Americans sound stupid when trying to discuss world politics,” says Secretary of State John Kerry. “The goal of renaming the world is so that we can discuss real issues with our friends and neighbors without getting confused and calling each other names.”

An 18-year-old student was arrested Sept. 21 on charges of underage drinking and depositing of human waste when a witness reported him urinating off the Sandburg patio.