Waterloo high school students have begun getting stoned instead of going to games on Friday nights. In light of all the regulations put down by the WIAA, students have decided their time was better suited “taking hits” from the bong instead of cheering their peers on the court. Kevin Valtrop told the local paper, “I’m just sick of going to the game and being told by the administration to be mindful of the opposing team’s feelings when we cheer.” Kevin could not understand why the cheer, “He grabbed our ball and touched my sac” was not appropriate for a group of hormone-raging teens to chant. The students are fed up and are staging a protest of Weedstock proportions.

Frank Goerteng who is leading the protest at a yet to be named location stated, “Screw the school. We’re just going to get stoned and play a good ole’ fashioned game of co-ed naked twister.” Local drug dealer Justin McNaughten is excited about the potential boost in sales that a Weedstock type event in Waterloo will bring him.

The local booster club is saddened at the news, as the income received from these games helps support building new weight room for the student athletes at the school. Booster member Harold Reinhance stated, “How are we going to put out a great team without providing them with a place to bulk up and get inspired. Granted, the cheerleading squad isn’t hard on the eyes this year.”Waterloo’s principal Gary Ross doesn’t appear concerned about the students’ increase in drug use, but felt the need to stand firm in abiding by WIAA policy. He told us, “Hey, kids are going to do drugs no matter if we enforce rules or not. We feel that the WIAA hit the nail on the head by not allowing this type of cheering at events.”The WIAA referred to their policy on sportsmanship and stated that there should be no such thing as home court advantage at high school sporting events. WIAA Board of Control president Buck Diener stated, “These students are just trying to make us change our policies to allow students to begin having fun at high school sports events again, and that’s not what sportsmanship is all about.”

Thursday, February 15, 2007 11355
This article was originally written January 15, 2007. In light of Brett Favre's retirement from the Green Bay Packers we felt it was appropriate to run again. Brett, thank you, we'll miss you as much as we cherish you, in an alive, not dead yet way. Deanna, Brittany and Breleigh, thanks for sharing him with us.
Monday, January 01, 2018 12363
Wisconsin governor Scott Walker has been excited about the Foxconn deal for Wisconsin, though he did avoid talking about it after the signing. Wisconsin residents are asking whether it's a good deal for the state to add Foxconn to its payroll. In fact, the state will be paying new employees of Foxconn $15,000 to $19,000 per job annually. While it may be true that these will not be actual state employees, they will also not cost as much as actual state employees, so it actually works out in the state’s favor, according to Walker. While roads and parks may be in disrepair, thousands of new private sector jobs will be created, and most of those new employees will likely not care about services the state might offer. While it’s true that the average corporate incentive arrangement only adds up to a state kicking in $2,457 per year. Basically, taxpayers will be paying over 15% of the wages to Foxconn employees, a workforce that could top out at 13,000. However, taxpayers must realize that when the government was bloated and paying many employees in excess of $30,000 a year and benefits, that’s more than double the investment in paying Foxconn to build electronics in Wisconsin. While it’s true that there was enforcement of DNR rules and teachers for children, the fact is that most people from Wisconsin would rather watch a youtube video of a rap battle between Donald Trump and Pocahontas than pay their hard-earned money into a corrupt system of fat-cat, liberal, career government employees. These people are perfectly fine that Foxconn employees will be making more money than them, with a substantial percentage provided by their own taxes, so long as those Foxconn employees do not tell them what to watch on the screens that are being manufactured in Wisconsin. Jeremy Atkins, a college marketing major, says that he is grateful that he might be able to work for Foxconn with money provided by Wisconsin taxpayers. “I will show my appreciation to the taxpayers of Wisconsin by purchasing my Porsche in the state” Atkins claimed. “I will also show my appreciation by paying Wisconsin income taxes even as I live closer to Chicago, over the border. I mean, have you seen Mount Pleasant? I’d rather live in Taiwan!” Atkins also claims that he hopes that with hard work and dedication, he might someday work his way to up own the company, which is generally the dream of most American workers. Like those who work for Toyota, HSBC, Sony, or Siemens.

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