As an independently wealthy business consultant, I can tell you how good it feels to tell others to go f-themselves. Like if someone doesn’t detail my BMW properly when it gets washed. However, there are some situations when I want to go tell a client to f-off, but I just have to let it go, like if the client makes more in a year than Guyana. Like if I was working for Johnson Controls, and Alex Molinaroli tells me to shine his shoes while wearing a French maid outfit, I’d probably do it because the man makes $20 million a year and deserves to be able to humiliate anyone he wants. Like his wife. I bet he treated her like dirt, but now she’s pretending he didn’t because she gets half of what he makes, and she wants him to keep his job, so she’s acting like he’s not such a bad guy anymore. That’s power, folks. Alex said f-you to his wife while boning a company consultant (no, not me), and then when the ex-wife ripped into him, he told her f-off again if she wanted to keep half his f-the-world salary. That’s bold: tell the world you lied yesterday about me, ex-wife! He probably made her change her Facebook status to reflect her new-found honesty about how good of a man he is. F-yeah, Alex Molinaroli! That’s what every ex-husband wants to be able to do. Alex Molinaroli, after telling his ex to go f-herself, then told the leftist press to go f-itself, giving an “often-testy 30 minute interview” to The Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel, clearing his name for those of us who can see that it takes two balls the size of the Allen-Bradley clock faces to take on the press, your ex-wife, the mistress you met at work, and allegations you blew millions of dollars in a Ponzi scheme (and continued to support the accused), all while saying f-you to anyone who thinks you might be inept at managing money or relationships. Alex Molinaroli apparently even said f-you to the board at Johnson Controls. That would be like me going into a client’s office and saying, “F-you; we’re doing this campaign my way or the highway. My ex-wife needs a new fur.” This is really a testament to America that a man can get to a point where he can tell his ex, the press, and his employer to f-off and have a job because he’s just that important. I mean, this man’s EX-wife makes more a month than my loser public school teacher brother-in-law makes in a YEAR. The company this man runs makes billions a year, and it’s obviously all because of him. In fact, Johnson Controls should probably consolidate operations and let a thousand or so employees go in the Milwaukee area so that they can retain Alex Molinaroli as CEO. He’s obviously worth well more than 200 of their $100,000 a year employees. He probably has CEOs of auto manufacturers wearing French maid outfits and shining his shoes as he tells them to f-themselves during negotiations. Truly, Alex Molinaroli is an example of why there is and needs to be a healthy class system in America. Some of us, those of us who tell the others to f-off, simply deserve others to be below us, and it’s a positive sign that Johnson Controls recognizes a truly classy man when they hire one. Plus, it’s a great way to say f-you to employees and customers interested in ethics and morals. As Alex Molinaroli says, "I think that we all make mistakes in our life. I assume that that is allowed." F-yeah!

Real Wisconsin News has made it official policy to extend our thoughts and prayers to you at this difficult time. We know you are suffering, and we realize that a real discussion might help you to cope with how you feel, but we would rather offer thoughts and prayers. The thoughts have now moved on to a top ten list of amazing photos we never knew existed. The prayers were more of a metaphor from the start. Both were offered because that is what will make you believe you are special to us, so please allow us to reiterate our desire to submit our thoughts and prayers to you and your loved ones. Bob Costas may or may not have coined the use of thoughts and prayers to express his deepest sympathy after the 1989 San Francisco earthquake. However, by the mid 1990s, thoughts and prayers were being sent out by all local and national media, as well as nearly 9 in 10 politicians. Bill Clinton, after realizing that saying he felt others' pain was seen as disingenuous, began offering thoughts and prayers. By 2001, the United States was so entrenched in offering thoughts and prayers that no other form of sympathy would be offered until a little known newscaster a decade later said that he knew his thoughts and prayers were not enough to offer in the wake of yet another school shooting. The media was briefly thrown into turmoil as it looked for something more appropriate following monthly disasters requiring thoughts and prayers. However, no replacement has been articulated since the initial shockwave and indictment. Donald Trump will, no doubt, be expected to grieve with Americans when people are maimed or killed. As a candidate who won based on negating political correctness, many have asked whether he will continue using thoughts and prayers to empathize with his fellow Americans. There is a movement in the NBA, where names are often shortened, to abbreviate thoughts and prayers to TnP, as in, "Hey, man, I heard your cousin died. TnP, DJ." With Trump's preference for Twitter over press conferences, it's possible Americans will see something like this: School shooting was a horrible disaster. Teachers need guns. #TnP to all. I'm having steak for dinner #Trumprules Until Trump does shake up how we offer condolences, Real Wisconsin News would like to offer our continuous thoughts and prayers for the following situations affecting your lives: Natural disasters, cancer or disease, financial troubles, death of a loved one, getting shot, being bullied, erectile dysfunction, deployed soldiers, accidents, general pain, divorce, and your choice of any other heartbreaking situation for which we sincerely offer our thoughts and prayers. We, by rule, do not offer thoughts or prayers to those who are foreigners (unless attacked by terrorists or natural disaster), those who are incarcerated, or those who cause the situation for which we are offering said thoughts and prayers.