Milwaukee 6th District Alderman Michael Jackson McGee Jr. took time off from fighting a local recall effort to fortify his position as a leading activist for black rights. Speaking at a hastily called urgent press conference, Alderman McGee took great exception to the characterization of black ice being a danger to the community.

“All this talk on the radio and on television about black ice being a danger to drivers in the community is another example of the racist community in which we live. I know that spin-outs are a concern to all in the city. But laying blame at the door of black ice is outrageous. People need to know and accept that black ice is not a menace. Black ice is the victim here and will now have to deal with this stigma for life.”

Describing what it would take to fix the problems of black ice, McGee carried on: “To fix the problems of black ice, we as leaders need to make sure that the police officers who respond to spin-outs have the right backgrounds and are properly trained. We shouldn’t worry so much about what problems black ice causes, but the causes of black ice making problems. For example, I hold John Malan responsible for the current episode of black ice.”

When asked about the local recall effort against him, McGee responded, “I want my brothers and sisters to know what is important to me. So, I am taking time that I really need to fight off this unwanted recall effort, to let all my peeps know, that no matter what is going on with me, if you are black, I am there for you. Black ice, black-eyed peas, black limousines, black hookers, black coffee, black Venezuelan oil, black panthers, whatever man. If it’s black, them’s my constituents and I care.” When asked to explain himself further, Mr. McGee unrolled a poster that read “Black Ice!” and retreated into his office.

Forgot to add this one to the book, but you can read more classics here: