Calendar Accurately Reflects Wisconsin’s Communities

In an effort to continue the popular multicultural tourism calendar, first launched in 2005, yet maintain factual integrity, the Wisconsin Department of Tourism has released a segregated version. This calendar will depict realistic scenes of Real Wisconsin diverse citizens in their natural habitats as opposed to staged or doctored photos to falsely represent integration. The twelve photos used for each month are as follows:

January—African-Americans celebrate Martin Luther King Jr. Day at the Hoopfest basketball tournament in Milwaukee


February—White ice-fishermen sit next to their ice-shack with beers in hand. Pickup truck and “Warning: Thin Ice” sign in background.


March—A group of Jewish UW-Milwaukee students attend classes on good Friday wearing their Kippahs


April— Chippewa spearfishers in boats with lights shining in the water and spears in hand. White protesters line the shore


May—Mexican-Americans celebrate the Cinco de Mayo celebration at the UMOS Center on South Chase Avenue. Colorful dresses, piñatas, and low riders in the parking lot.


June—Barbeque at the Juneteenth Day street festival. African-Americans fill the streets as police officers line the sidewalks.


July—Italian-American family lighting off fireworks and playing Bocce Ball in the backyard August—White suburban family in their yard. Dad is watering the lawn. Mom is weeding the garden. Junior is kicking a soccer ball.


September—A Jordanian Muslim family sitting around their kitchen table and drinking only water to celebrate the month of Ramadan


October—A group of overweight white men at an Oktoberfest celebration wearing lederhosen, eating brats, and drinking beer. A polka band plays in the background.


November—Three Hmong hunters standing next to a “No Trespassing” sign with five deer

December—African-American churchgoers outside of their church on Christmas Day. Nativity scene with a blond-haired Jesus in background.

Sunday, July 22, 2007 9098
The Cobeus tribe of South America, living deep in the Amazon and feeding occasionally on their enemies, have issued a press release that they are not interesting in devouring baseball great Barry Bonds. This may seem shocking because Bonds has a lot of muscle, which is more nutritious that fat. However, the Cobeus people do not want their meals tainted with steroids and avoid human flesh that has been tainted in any way. In a Real Wisconsin News exclusive, we have discovered that the tribe keeps a bulletin board with photos of people who are allowed safe passage through their domain. Keith Richards and Lindsay Lohan are amongst the celebrities posted. While the mammary is said to be the best meat available on a human, Lohan’s recent transgressions have made her off-limits, just like Bonds.
Wednesday, July 25, 2007 17319
Though some in the yellow press like to proclaim radium as a substance to be fearful of, especially in drinking water, Real Wisconsin News has learned that radium has been used to treat warts, nosebleeds, arthritis, infertility, and, yes, cancer. In fact, back when Marie Curie discovered radium, doctors everywhere proclaimed it as a cure-all, but when a small majority of those doctors met untimely ends, some people denied the true healing nature of radium. Waukesha County, however, still believes.

Donate to Scott Walker Without a Trace

Donate using PayPal
Amount:
Note:
and

Designed by Passive Ninja