Though some in the yellow press like to proclaim radium as a substance to be fearful of, especially in drinking water, Real Wisconsin News has learned that radium has been used to treat warts, nosebleeds, arthritis, infertility, and, yes, cancer. In fact, back when Marie Curie discovered radium, doctors everywhere proclaimed it as a cure-all, but when a small majority of those doctors met untimely ends, some people denied the true healing nature of radium. Waukesha County, however, still believes.

Various public and private water sources in Waukesha, Delafield, and Pewaukee have tested positive to abnormally high amounts of radium in their water, and it appears that citizens there will benefit from pure luck and be able to drink and cook with waters blessed with the healing hand of radiation. Radium is simply another great development from the early 20th Century that has received a bum rap over the years, like lead paint, asbestos, filter cigarettes, and women’s suffrage. In fact, communities in Waukesha County could re-introduce the world to products like Radithor, a pre-mixed radium water cure.

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Friday, February 18, 2011 15890
The Wisconsin Minutemen, a Tea Party group from Washington County, have bestowed Scott Walker with an honorary college degree from The International College of Metaphysical Theology. John Murphy, representing the Minutemen, presented Walker with the honorary degree in the midst of the public condemnation of Walker's attacks on state employee unions. Said Murphy, "We wanted to once and for all end the rumors and accusations surrounding Scott Walker and his lack of education. He's doing exactly as he's been told, and that's what a good politician or student does."
Thursday, May 31, 2007 4409
Amid criticism and turmoil over decisions made in Iraq, the Bush administration has opted to use its secret weapon of time travel to change past comments in order to avoid further embarrassment.

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