President Bush, in a startling use of language last week, properly used a multi-syllabic word in a sentence. Describing newly declared Presidential candidate Senator Barack Obama as "articulate," Bush successfully made the attempt to string together several words without bumbling. As it turned out however, supporters of Senator Obama, couldn't appreciate the historic occasion.

Appearing on Bill O'Reilly's The O'Reilly Factor, Angela Burt-Murray, Editor of Essence Magazine and Lauren Lake, a self-proclaimed social commentator, legal analyst, relationship expert, interior designer, musician and entertainer (even RWN can't make that up) fumed that President Bush dared to call Senator Obama "articulate." Each stated that President Bush calling Senator Obama "articulate" was an insult to Obama and all black men throughout the nation.

Explaining her point Burt-Murray postulated that Bush's comment was actually an over the top insult rarely found in humanity today. "Look, you don't need to call a black man articulate, just because he's articulate, that's like calling me articulate because I'm articulate. You understand, that's an insult!!!" When O'Reilly responded that he didn't understand, Lake thrashed in with, "In white America, nobody believes that a black man can be articulate, so to call one articulate is to perpetuate the myth that black men aren't articulate. It's another example of the man holding us down through imagery and stereotyping. Why do we have to call an articulate black man who is articulate, articulate? Saying nothing will do." O'Reilly pointed out that President Bush was in fact asked what he thought about Obama, when making the offensive statement. Lake nearly cursed and replied, "So what!? So Bush calls him articulate? Who is President Bush to call anybody articulate, it's just wrong, and shows that Bush doesn't like the blacks." O'Rielly blathered back, "Now that's just wrong! While I may be able to appreciate the irony of the President using the word articulate, saying he doesn't like blacks is out of line and wrong. Look at his relationship with Condi Rice!"

Oddly, neither Burt-Murray nor Lake, both Democrat stalworts, discussed Democratic Presidential candidate Joseph Biden's previous and more expanded commentary on Obama's cleanliness.

Said Bill O'Reilly, clearly confused, "Can you see why white America might disengage from this argument. We don't understand the rules. And the rules seem to change by the issue and with the person involved. And anytime we try to figure it out, someone goes hysterical, like you're doing now." Burt-Murray had no response, to her credit appearing to consider the point. Lake cocked her neck and chimed however, "I ain't hysterical and this ain't our problem no how, sheeeeeit." O'Reilly went to commercial and came back on air with Dennis Miller clearly cracked up about the previous piece.

The Burt-Murray and Lake interview has been purged from O'Reilly's website for fear of being accused of hate mongering. However, you can visit Essence Magazine for coverage on how to find a good black man.

Wednesday, October 12, 2016 17452
After Bill Clinton did not have sexual relations with Monica Lewinsky by getting blow jobs, male students across the country began using The Slick Willie argument with their female classmates, and fellatio became a part of the normal high school rite of passage in the late 90s (to the dismay of all males who graduated in the early 90s). A similar phenomenon is beginning to occur at schools, including those with conservative values: spying on naked girls, uncontrollable kissing, and pussy grabbing. It’s the result of Donald Trump’s revelation that doing this to women is one of his favorite activities. While male high school students have always wanted sex, they have generally asked for it or hoped that situations, such as prom, would naturally lead to it. Bill Clinton’s revolutionary take on sexual relations made oral sex more palatable for young women, leading to such possible events as rainbow parties. These impressionable girls saw a man they respected saying it was not sexual to perform oral sex, so they could feel confident that it was fine to do so. Similarly, young men who respect Donald Trump for his wealth, power, and honesty are now taking his advice about relationships. Guidance counselors all over the nation are reporting an uptick in boys calling girls names, such as fat pigs, dogs, slobs, and disgusting animals. Sometimes worse. However, bullying is nothing new. There is also a notable increase in peeping in locker rooms because of recent allegations that Donald Trump owned beauty pageants so he could look at naked women and girls, though there’s always been such shenanigans. Uncontrollable kissing and pussy grabbing are very new, however, and they are being treated as criminal, even if it’s something The Donald does at will. One high school girl claims she was assaulted by a boy she barely knew during physical education class. “He didn’t even say anything. He just started kissing my neck and cheek while I was waiting for class to start. And then he put his hand on my privates.Gross!” One element that has not been repeated at the nation’s schools is the act of “grabbing” the pussy. All reports have involved touching, rubbing, or attempted digital penetration. By definition, grabbing is “to grasp or seize suddenly and roughly.” While this did happen to the penis of one young man who touched a classmate’s pussy region, no reports of actual pussy grabbing have been reported. Dr. Pam Schmeer explains, “According to Yahoo Answers, the pussy and vagina are interchangeable terms, but the pussy often refers to both internal and external parts of female genitalia, meaning Donald Trump would have been referring to the vulva, or the external part, that includes the labia and clitorus.” The doctor went on to explain that grabbing the pussy lips, even for someone with extremely small hands, would be difficult given the fact that the external parts of the pussy do not protrude out very far. She suggested 2-5mm. She also suggested a grab would not be as much of a turn on as a foot massage, running hands gently through one's hair, or ear licking. That said, gym teachers all over the nation are using grab-puss instead of grab-ass to describe students not working on the task at hand, as in, “Hey, gentlemen, could you stop playing grab-puss long enough to finish your stretching?” Whereas men were allowed to “goose” women decades ago without so much as a lawsuit, the consensus is that if Trump becomes president, men can expect a handful of pussy whenever they see a pretty face. While Donald Trump asserts that all women whose pussies were grabbed were willing participants in his dalliances, some have called for an investigation. However, no woman has come forward to confirm her pussy was grabbed by Donald Trump against her will, suggesting that Trump was correct in his assertion that money and power leads to pussy being there for the grabbing. Unfortunately, most high school boys have neither money nor power, so these young men will be the ones to pay by being added to the sex offender registry for the next two decades.
Thursday, August 02, 2007 5365
Recently deceased host of "The Late Late Show" and "Tomorrow with Tom Snyder," Milwaukee legend Tom Snyder is said to have conducted one last interview. Topping his famous interview with Charles Manson, Snyder turned the tables on God making a number of personal observations at his own Pearly Gate appearance.

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