1. Jim Doyle takes a campaign contribution.
  2. Indians continue gambling operations.
  3. Milwaukee Mayor embraces boarding schools as way to help city youth.
  4. Secret underwater lab in Lake Michigan yields trick to confusing the 187 invader species of the Great Lakes to swimming back home.
  5. Inner city murders plummet as outreach programs establish fight clubs.
  6. Milwaukee County Parks take blame for county’s budget woes.
  7. Dane County officially becomes a People’s Republic.
  8. Madison constructs “aesthetic” wall on city’s far-east side.
  9. Milwaukee 7 disbands after being regularly confused with Fantastic 4, Dirty Dozen and Ocean’s 11.
  10. Upnorth secedes from state in protest over liberal hippies from Madison and stupid morons in Milwaukee. Waukesha and Kenosha Counties consider options.
  11. People too young to know any better, yet smarter and better than all of us, continue to marry people they won’t like in a few years.
  12. Beer officially made official State food after years of making case.
Saturday, October 13, 2007 18216
The Milwaukee Bucks have used their 2007 NBA lottery draft pick to help the team win the lottery next year. The choice of Yi Jianlian, who does not even want to play for the team, should help to propel them to the worst record in the NBA, setting the stage for a few more chances to land next year’s top pick. While Jianlian has been compared to Toni Kukoc, mostly for his abilities in English as a Second Language, he will become another power forward to the frontcourt, allowing Charlie Villanueva to move to his natural position on the bench. Yi’s presence will also allow Andrew Bogut to continue to focus on automobile dealerships commercials rather than becoming a dominant force on the inside.
Wednesday, July 25, 2007 7925
President Bush stated in a recent interview that Iraq had “fumbled” the Saddam hanging and made Saddam’s execution look like a revenge killing when it carried out the sentence of the former dictator last month. The President said that it was “a home run for the Iraqi government to handle the trial of the clearly guilty Saddam in such an unbiased and swift method. But then, when it came to execute him, they muffed the snap and it looked like it was kind of a revenge killing.”

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