In an effort to reclaim their good name, members of the ancient Vandal tribal group have sued the major news outlets for libel and defamation of character. “Just because our ancestors sacked Rome doesn’t mean we’re uncivilized today,” said Ulteric (no last name given). “And besides,” he continued, “all we did was pillage. It’s not like we spray painted ‘Pink Floyd Rules!’ on their frickin aqueducts.”

Ulteric’s assessment of his tribe’s sacking of Rome seems to hold up with historic evidence, which suggests the Vandals were only interested in booty while in Rome, similar to American male business travelers today. “We didn’t rape and we didn’t burn the place down. Jeesh, it’s not like we acted like the Romans… and we were in Rome, so we could have.” Ulteric and other members of the Vandal Anti-Defamatory Expression Regulators have filed lawsuits against all of the major media players, including the large media conglomerate that owns this news outlet.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007 9222
Following on the heels of Bulemic Barbie's rehab, Mattel is dealing with a seriously diseased Elmo. Apparently Elmo has ingested large quantities of lead , leaving him partially mentally retarded.
Monday, August 09, 2004 11361
Kelly Clarkson is fat!!! Here she is shown preparing for her upcoming match with Kobayashi.

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