In an effort to reclaim their good name, members of the ancient Vandal tribal group have sued the major news outlets for libel and defamation of character. “Just because our ancestors sacked Rome doesn’t mean we’re uncivilized today,” said Ulteric (no last name given). “And besides,” he continued, “all we did was pillage. It’s not like we spray painted ‘Pink Floyd Rules!’ on their frickin aqueducts.”

Ulteric’s assessment of his tribe’s sacking of Rome seems to hold up with historic evidence, which suggests the Vandals were only interested in booty while in Rome, similar to American male business travelers today. “We didn’t rape and we didn’t burn the place down. Jeesh, it’s not like we acted like the Romans… and we were in Rome, so we could have.” Ulteric and other members of the Vandal Anti-Defamatory Expression Regulators have filed lawsuits against all of the major media players, including the large media conglomerate that owns this news outlet.

Wednesday, November 30, 2011 5683
Scott Walker says the NBA has dropped the ball in settling with its union thug employees, claiming he could have devised a much better deal for the owners using techniques he learned while creating a better system for management/employee relations in Wisconsin. “I think I have some experience in dealing with greedy workers,” said Walker, while campaigning at a factory in Manitowoc. Walker went on to outline a multiple-step process that David Stern should have implemented in dealing with the union: (comments are based on what Walker told a college-educated intern, who wrote them down)
Monday, January 01, 2018 13018
Wisconsin governor Scott Walker has been excited about the Foxconn deal for Wisconsin, though he did avoid talking about it after the signing. Wisconsin residents are asking whether it's a good deal for the state to add Foxconn to its payroll. In fact, the state will be paying new employees of Foxconn $15,000 to $19,000 per job annually. While it may be true that these will not be actual state employees, they will also not cost as much as actual state employees, so it actually works out in the state’s favor, according to Walker. While roads and parks may be in disrepair, thousands of new private sector jobs will be created, and most of those new employees will likely not care about services the state might offer. While it’s true that the average corporate incentive arrangement only adds up to a state kicking in $2,457 per year. Basically, taxpayers will be paying over 15% of the wages to Foxconn employees, a workforce that could top out at 13,000. However, taxpayers must realize that when the government was bloated and paying many employees in excess of $30,000 a year and benefits, that’s more than double the investment in paying Foxconn to build electronics in Wisconsin. While it’s true that there was enforcement of DNR rules and teachers for children, the fact is that most people from Wisconsin would rather watch a youtube video of a rap battle between Donald Trump and Pocahontas than pay their hard-earned money into a corrupt system of fat-cat, liberal, career government employees. These people are perfectly fine that Foxconn employees will be making more money than them, with a substantial percentage provided by their own taxes, so long as those Foxconn employees do not tell them what to watch on the screens that are being manufactured in Wisconsin. Jeremy Atkins, a college marketing major, says that he is grateful that he might be able to work for Foxconn with money provided by Wisconsin taxpayers. “I will show my appreciation to the taxpayers of Wisconsin by purchasing my Porsche in the state” Atkins claimed. “I will also show my appreciation by paying Wisconsin income taxes even as I live closer to Chicago, over the border. I mean, have you seen Mount Pleasant? I’d rather live in Taiwan!” Atkins also claims that he hopes that with hard work and dedication, he might someday work his way to up own the company, which is generally the dream of most American workers. Like those who work for Toyota, HSBC, Sony, or Siemens.

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