Saddam Hussein has finally paid for his crimes against our government and way of life with his recent execution. Hussein also deserved to die for crimes against his own people, the people of Iraq, whom we hold so very dear. Yes, free Iraqi people everywhere, we stand with you in your desire to destroy your tyrannical overlord, who caused you much pain, death, and destruction. Americans everywhere can rejoice that a known supporter of corrupt government leaders is finally dead, and so can the Iraqis who were free to convict Saddam for being an evil-doer. Luckily, the world will learn from this unfortunate situation that wherever injustice reigns, the United States will invade, help build a new government, and carry out proper punishments for anyone who disobeys international war rules. No other way exists to take down war criminals, and yes it is a big responsibility, but we are up to the task, because we believe international war crimes should be prosecuted by a jury of peers or American military personnel who can decide which war crimes are wrong and which wartime decisions are appropriate, like those made by our troops in Iraq. Let’s just all hope President Bush’s approval rating skyrockets, because he just made this world 230 pounds safer.
Could a law professor lose his job for making fun of Hmong people? That’s the question UW-Madison officials will tackle soon, as the case of what a professor named Kaplan said about the Hmong during a lecture recently. The question isn’t whether or not his remarks were accurate, but whether or not he has the right to say them. Let’s put it right out there: he is accused of saying that Hmong men only know how to kill things and that their sons tend to be in gangs, or to be more accurate, we’ll quote the quote of an email quote: “’ Hmong men have no talent other than to kill,’" "’all-second generation Hmong end up in gangs and other criminal activity’" and "’all men purchase their wives, so if he wants to have sex with his wife and she doesn't consent, you and I call it rape, but the Hmong guy is thinking, 'Man, I paid too much for her!' ‘" (Please, any representatives of MLA or APA, help us out here.)