The City of Pewaukee Police Chief will be awarded the Sheriff Buford T. Justice Certificate of Recognition for his upholding the values of police humor in language usage and offending others. This award is given each year to an officer of the law who basically believes others should, “Do what I say you pile of monkey nuts!”

The certificate will be presented during a ceremony in the Wal-Mart parking lot in recognition of the chief’s using unacceptable and derogatory terms about females and minorities, his displaying nude and partially-nude photographs of women, and his sending emails with sexual content to other police officers. 

it gets funner here

Monday, October 01, 2007 14333
While some fans are disappointed with the finish to the [insert year here] Milwaukee Brewers season, team members believe they have the Chicago Cubs right where they want them. Instead of the Brewers going on to lose in the first round of the playoffs, players will be able to sit at home with their families and watch the Cubs lose in the first round.
Sunday, July 22, 2007 9754
In an apparent mix-up in Washington, the Bush White House, hoping to garner more minority support for upcoming elections, seem to have missed the message of Jackie Robinson Day, celebrating it at the Samsung 500 at the Texas Motor Speedway watching a NASCAR race. White House press secretary Tony Snow said that Bush wanted to celebrate the true meaning of Jackie Robinson Day, on the 60th Anniversary of the breaking of the color barrier in baseball, by watching a good ol’ fashioned automobile race, and cheering for NASCAR’s newest addition, Juan Pablo Montoya in the #42 Dodge.

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