The Milwaukee Bucks, in the hopes of drawing more fans, are in the process of acquiring a team that may not be able to compete on the court, but certainly will entertain people. The team will begin trading for players that are considered to be freaks of nature, or at least of basketball. Their recent acquisition of 5’5’’ Earl Boykins is the first in a string of trades that will create what is known as a theme-team. Just as the Harlem Globetrotters train mediocre players to dribble basketballs off referees’ heads and throw buckets of water on unsuspecting fans, the Milwaukee Bucks will also create a buzz when they travel through the NBA as they build their record book roster. While some may call them the freaks of the league, the Bucks front office is simply referring to the new team as team representing all of society. “The players will represent the dreams and sometimes nightmares of fans worldwide, and we will create an interesting brand of basketball for a city that is used to embracing all walks of life,” was the official word from the organization.

Larry Krystkowiak will soon be joined on the bench by Curly Neal, and current player Mo Williams will stay on the roster in order to create a Three Stooges subplot. The team has also confirmed the purchase of a “short bus” that the players will ride in for the games. The bus will have a magic window that opens up so fans can see in, and the team has hired Busdriver Bob from The Doodlebops television program to drive. The half-time entertainment for each game will also arrive with the team on the bus, which will be equipped with bubble and smoke machines.

Some players under consideration include:

Earl Boykins—shortest current NBA player

Manute Bol, Gheorghe Muresan, or Shawn Bradley—tallest

Danny Schayes or son—Jewish

Shareef Abdur-Rahim or Tariq Abdul-Wahad—Muslim

Tyrone Hill—ugliest

Rasheed Wallace—most penalized

Dennis Rodman—?

John Amaechi—“man in the middle”

Tracy McGrady—most cross-eyed

Eduardo Najera—Mexican

Steve Nash—Canadian

Thursday, April 12, 2018 14151
A leading economist has released a synopsis of how public schools need to follow a business model in a new book. Chapter One discusses teachers as managers and students as labor, with Parents functioning as the board of directors, and taxpayers acting as customers, while State/Fed government are upper management. Testing/Graduation is the product. Chapter Two has: Teachers=Labor; Students=Product; Parents=Customer; Taxpayers=Board of Directors; State/Fed=Employer; Testing/Graduation= evaluation of product. Chapter Three outlines: Teachers=Labor; Students=Customer; Parents=Board of Directors; Taxpayers=Board of Directors; State/Fed=Employer; Testing/Graduation=Product Chapter Four Maintains: Teachers=Independent Contractor; Students=Customer; Parents=Managers; Taxpayers=Board of Directors; State/Fed=Employer; Testing/Graduation=Product Chapter Five hypothesizes: Teachers=Independent Contractor; Students=Customer; Parents=Customer; Taxpayers=Customer; State/Fed=Employer; Testing/Graduation=Product Chapters Six through 27 outline many more scenarios that all seem to work brilliantly on paper to prove once and for all that free public schools do in fact follow a simple business model. Therefore, common business procedures such as embezzlement and money laundering should begin immediately.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007 15467
At first, the idea of the Food Stamp Challenge was for Americans to see what it’s like to live in poverty and spend a mere one dollar per meal, but organizers of the effort are now touting their challenge as a way for Americans spend less on food and pay down their debt. Utahns Against Hunger, who began the challenge as a way to bring publicity to difficult conditions suffered by the poor, said in a press release that the challenge was fun, but since nobody died or even suffered very much, they were going to change the direction of the challenge.

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