A leading economist has released a synopsis of how public schools need to follow a business model in a new book.

Chapter One discusses teachers as managers and students as labor, with Parents functioning as the board of directors, and taxpayers acting as customers, while State/Fed government are upper management. Testing/Graduation is the product.

Chapter Two has: Teachers=Labor; Students=Product; Parents=Customer; Taxpayers=Board of Directors; State/Fed=Employer; Testing/Graduation= evaluation of product.

Chapter Three outlines: Teachers=Labor; Students=Customer; Parents=Board of Directors; Taxpayers=Board of Directors; State/Fed=Employer; Testing/Graduation=Product

Chapter Four Maintains: Teachers=Independent Contractor; Students=Customer; Parents=Managers; Taxpayers=Board of Directors; State/Fed=Employer; Testing/Graduation=Product

Chapter Five hypothesizes: Teachers=Independent Contractor; Students=Customer; Parents=Customer; Taxpayers=Customer; State/Fed=Employer; Testing/Graduation=Product

Chapters Six through 27 outline many more scenarios that all seem to work brilliantly on paper to prove once and for all that free public schools do in fact follow a simple business model. Therefore, common business procedures such as embezzlement and money laundering should begin immediately.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007 15121
Bradford Beach will soon have to compete with a new beach with similar levels of human feces in the water. The city of West Allis will open the Honey Creek Beach that will replace the failing county-run swimming pools, and allow citizens to bask in the peace and solitude found only near sewage-tainted waters. A recent study conducted by the Milwaukee Metropolitan Sewerage District has found that an unexpected level of human feces routinely flows through the Honey Creek, likely resulting from bad sewer pipes, but the levels are not unlike those seen at Milwaukee’s favorite summer lakefront beach, so West Allis officials plan on going ahead with their plans to create the Honey Creek Beach in State Fair Park.
Thursday, January 03, 2008 5226
Dear Biker Chick I've been seeing a woman for almost a year now and it's been time to break-up since autumn. I kept seeing her through the holidays because I didn't want to be "that guy" who breaks up just before it's time to buy a present. Now, just a few days after New Year's she's talking about what we should do for Valentine's Day. I really want to break-up with her, but she's making it pretty hard. How can I do this without her feeling bad or me being an asshole. Signed Too Nice Dear Too Nice Try growing a set. Tell her she's nice but just not in the right place at the right time for you. If she asks about maybe getting back together in the future, she's basically asking to be told she's not the right one. You can say it mean, or you can say it nice, but say it. And stop being a whiney little weasel. I know you just wanted the holiday nookie.

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