Nearly defining irony, the top-rated response to Americans viewing the Corey Feldman song performance in September of 2016 was, "I thought he was dead." Obviously, the second response, and the one that has become the focus of social media, was, "That was weird."

While it is possible Corey Feldman died of an overdose or gross neglect in the late 2000's or early 2010's, a quick search of the internet seems to have proven that Feldman did not die. It's also not likely that his death was covered up in order to make a posthumous release of his album, which was dedicated to two of his dead friends, Corey Haim and Michael Jackson.

"I was not dead for the past ten years," says Feldman. "I was just dedicating my life to my music." Unfortunately for Feldman, critics and fans have unanimously declared the album to be horrible. Said one critic, "I thought he was dead before the songs were released, and now I kind of wish he had been. The album is kind of like Eddie Murphy's 80s attempt at music, just without the one hit to make it somewhat meaningful. But that makes it a perfect dedication to Corey Haim."

Friday, February 17, 2012 7047
Rick Santorum supporter, Wisconsin native, and near-billionaire Foster Friess made a statement that seemed to need a little explaining when he implied that the use of aspirin between a woman's knees could prevent pregnancies. Was he making a joke? Was this a viable option in the past? Does aspirin act as a spermicide? Does he know how to make babies? Real Wisconsin News decided to find out the answers to some of these questions.
Sunday, July 22, 2007 9099
The Cobeus tribe of South America, living deep in the Amazon and feeding occasionally on their enemies, have issued a press release that they are not interesting in devouring baseball great Barry Bonds. This may seem shocking because Bonds has a lot of muscle, which is more nutritious that fat. However, the Cobeus people do not want their meals tainted with steroids and avoid human flesh that has been tainted in any way. In a Real Wisconsin News exclusive, we have discovered that the tribe keeps a bulletin board with photos of people who are allowed safe passage through their domain. Keith Richards and Lindsay Lohan are amongst the celebrities posted. While the mammary is said to be the best meat available on a human, Lohan’s recent transgressions have made her off-limits, just like Bonds.

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