Arthur Civellio, a local photographer, believes he and a few of his competitors have stumbled onto the next fad in photography that he hopes will be bigger than middle school airbrushing, weird kid reflection photos, or senior pic slut portfolios.Arthur will be establishing a new business plan that captures many of his former clients who will be making a second big transition: divorce.

Arthur tried to break into the pregnancy picture world of photography, but he realized that only about 10% of couples who have babies want photos of Mommy when she’s as big as the living room couch. Besides, draping Daddy all over her like she is the living room couch has always seemed a bit odd to the photographer, who says he prefers more standard glam photos of expectant mothers beached on the lakefront. Either way, it’s not a lucrative business because so few couples get the photos done, never get them for a second pregnancy (when Mommy tends to get as big as a minivan), and some couples never even have babies.

Baby photos are great, but most families only splurge on the first child, then figure out they could send the second kid to college for the amount they spent on quarterly photo shoots for baby. That’s if they even have a second child, which is less common if the marriage is already on the rocks, unless they have the second one to save the marriage. But that usually doesn’t work, anyhow, so a seasoned photographer knows a single child is about all he’ll get out of a couple and might even delete the couple from the mailing list afterwards.

Weddings are not as lucrative as they once were, probably because so many people realize how useless all those photos will be when their bliss ends in divorce court. Have you ever heard of any couple arguing over who gets to keep the wedding pictures? A lot of the weddings end up being someone’s second or third, and those couples just don’t care as much about the full array of photo opportunities, especially since Grandpa’s no longer around for the big family reunion pic. Granted, couples do tend to hire photographers, even for a fourth wedding, but many times it’s a family friend with an SLR by that point.

The new trend in divorce photo shoots allow individuals to show aspects of themselves not seen in family photos, all while preparing for the online dating scene or for the need to update Linkedin or Facebook so that they look happy without the old ball and chain. In fact, a standard shot includes an action photo of the subject throwing a biodegradable ball and chain into a waterfalls or at a prized possession, like a pickup truck.

Divorce shoots focus on individuality. If a husband really enjoyed watching the football game, but his wife always tried to make him visit the inlaws on weekends, the photographer might do a shoot at a local sporting event or just on the couch. “Some guys just want to relax with a cold beer and pick their toenails and calluses on their feet,” said local photographer Jane Moore. “If he wants to send a series of photos of himself sitting in various chairs with his robe on, smoking a cigar, I’ll shoot it.” Women tend to focus on activities like reading or pretending to be characters from books they’ve read. ‘You’d be surprised how many women have requested Regency-era dresses,” said Moore. Mostly, however, men and women can agree that the photo shoots depict doing activities their spouses detested. While a man might head to a gentlemen’s club for a shoot and a woman might go horseback riding on the beach, the result is a happy customer.

 

Divorce photo shoots often incorporate a new relationship as part of the theme. Since these relationships don’t tend to last, photographers are weary of making them the focal point. However, it is understood that a Facebook post with a new flame looking hot is a definite selling point. “I usually tell customers to have the new boyfriend or girlfriend show up for part of the shoot and wear something the spouse would never have worn, like tall leather boots or tight pants. We also try to call attention to tattoos or piercings,” claimed Civellio. Clients see it a double bonus if the photos are of the new significant other participating in the activities the spouse refused to do, like attending the ballet together.

Newly-divorced clients love to get photos with their kids. Taking family photos without the person who nearly ruined your life (but gave you the kids you love) is seen as an opportunity to move on without abandoning the family. “People love their kids. Moms and dads both do. And they love getting those professionally-taken photos to show the ex just how much more the kids are loved by one over the other,” said Moore. Dad’s might feed the kids food laden with gluten and yellow dyes. Moms might play a gameof catch with a youngster. Mostly, the point is to show that the family will no longer be sad and hateful now that the monster is out of the picture, literally.


Here are some sample shots from local photographers:

Saturday, February 27, 2016 12778
As an independently wealthy business consultant, I can tell you how good it feels to tell others to go f-themselves. Like if someone doesn’t detail my BMW properly when it gets washed. However, there are some situations when I want to go tell a client to f-off, but I just have to let it go, like if the client makes more in a year than Guyana. Like if I was working for Johnson Controls, and Alex Molinaroli tells me to shine his shoes while wearing a French maid outfit, I’d probably do it because the man makes $20 million a year and deserves to be able to humiliate anyone he wants. Like his wife. I bet he treated her like dirt, but now she’s pretending he didn’t because she gets half of what he makes, and she wants him to keep his job, so she’s acting like he’s not such a bad guy anymore. That’s power, folks. Alex said f-you to his wife while boning a company consultant (no, not me), and then when the ex-wife ripped into him, he told her f-off again if she wanted to keep half his f-the-world salary. That’s bold: tell the world you lied yesterday about me, ex-wife! He probably made her change her Facebook status to reflect her new-found honesty about how good of a man he is. F-yeah, Alex Molinaroli! That’s what every ex-husband wants to be able to do. Alex Molinaroli, after telling his ex to go f-herself, then told the leftist press to go f-itself, giving an “often-testy 30 minute interview” to The Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel, clearing his name for those of us who can see that it takes two balls the size of the Allen-Bradley clock faces to take on the press, your ex-wife, the mistress you met at work, and allegations you blew millions of dollars in a Ponzi scheme (and continued to support the accused), all while saying f-you to anyone who thinks you might be inept at managing money or relationships. Alex Molinaroli apparently even said f-you to the board at Johnson Controls. That would be like me going into a client’s office and saying, “F-you; we’re doing this campaign my way or the highway. My ex-wife needs a new fur.” This is really a testament to America that a man can get to a point where he can tell his ex, the press, and his employer to f-off and have a job because he’s just that important. I mean, this man’s EX-wife makes more a month than my loser public school teacher brother-in-law makes in a YEAR. The company this man runs makes billions a year, and it’s obviously all because of him. In fact, Johnson Controls should probably consolidate operations and let a thousand or so employees go in the Milwaukee area so that they can retain Alex Molinaroli as CEO. He’s obviously worth well more than 200 of their $100,000 a year employees. He probably has CEOs of auto manufacturers wearing French maid outfits and shining his shoes as he tells them to f-themselves during negotiations. Truly, Alex Molinaroli is an example of why there is and needs to be a healthy class system in America. Some of us, those of us who tell the others to f-off, simply deserve others to be below us, and it’s a positive sign that Johnson Controls recognizes a truly classy man when they hire one. Plus, it’s a great way to say f-you to employees and customers interested in ethics and morals. As Alex Molinaroli says, "I think that we all make mistakes in our life. I assume that that is allowed." F-yeah!
Thursday, October 02, 2008 10205
Normally, fans at home hate it when television broadcasts of sports focus on elements of the game that are irrelevant, like the wife of the coach or little kids with stupid signs. However, in the last two Cubs games, TBS was irresponsible in their decision to refrain from showing the crowd (until after most viewers tuned out) as the Cubs choked once again.

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