by Dan Brubus

We’ve won against the big Union bosses and fat-cat public school teachers! The rest is spitting in their eyes and pissing on their graves. Some of you teachers  are calling the latest measure ironic, but most of us don’t care or care to know what ironic means. I make triple what the priciest greedy teacher ever made and I don’t know what irony is. That goes to show that I’m smart, like Scott Walker, and teachers are dumb, like teenagers.

The newest proposal to relax teaching requirements is simply brilliant because it’s wasn’t even on anyone’s radar. Total decoy, thrown in for those high-school-in-a-box companies that want to take over MPS. Station a few minimum-wage guards at the door. Sure, great if it passes, but the idea was take some of the heat off the other proposals. The ones that rip the guts out of school districts after we’ve already hijacked the greedy teachers’ will to fight.

No limits on vouchers. The eventual goal is no limits for any income or place or anything. Blank check for mom and dad. Send the kids to a religious school if you want government cheese for God. Send them to Brookfield Academy if you want to spend an extra ten thousand over the voucher. The day is soon on this one, and in the same way Walmart put the local shops out of business, the same will happen in education. Walschool.

The drain on the public schools won’t put them completely out of business right away, so a few measures have been inserted in the state budget to help them along. One is to allow all private and home schooled kids play sports with the public schools. Hey, their parents already pay big taxes to overpaid teachers, so their kids should get some kind of benefit. Besides, a lot of public schools are having trouble fielding teams because parents don’t want to send their kids to poor institutions, so they’ll need the players.

The budget will end Chapter 220 and SAGE, both measures that tried to fix failing schools through smaller class sizes and integration. Many reputable studies have shown that smaller class sizes do nothing to help learning and that multiculturalism is just a myth. The expansion of charter schools would also be great if the new teacher licensing proposal does pass, but it’s not really necessary, since public school employees make about double what their former co-workers who have been laid off since Act 10 will take to do the same job, so it means more Walschools. Efficient, fiscally-responsible Walschools. Teaching beyond the Common Core and its lies. Teaching America how it’s done in Wisconsin. Showing the nation who’s driving the pickup if Scott Walker becomes the next president.

And then it’s on to a national standard for teacher licensure. Maybe a new college standard, too. GED? Teach Women’s Studies. Middle school dropout? Teach economics. The point is it doesn’t matter. I went to college for four years, partied it up, got a job with a wealthy family member making wealth for the wealthy, and that all any of us need. I mean, Scott Walker, one of the great leaders of our time, couldn’t handle the rigors of college so he went on to become rich and powerful instead. That’s the American way, unwanted immigrants and those who would take away my right to own an assault rifle to protect my stockpiled food cache.

Friday, December 02, 2016 7467
Real Wisconsin News has made it official policy to extend our thoughts and prayers to you at this difficult time. We know you are suffering, and we realize that a real discussion might help you to cope with how you feel, but we would rather offer thoughts and prayers. The thoughts have now moved on to a top ten list of amazing photos we never knew existed. The prayers were more of a metaphor from the start. Both were offered because that is what will make you believe you are special to us, so please allow us to reiterate our desire to submit our thoughts and prayers to you and your loved ones. Bob Costas may or may not have coined the use of thoughts and prayers to express his deepest sympathy after the 1989 San Francisco earthquake. However, by the mid 1990s, thoughts and prayers were being sent out by all local and national media, as well as nearly 9 in 10 politicians. Bill Clinton, after realizing that saying he felt others' pain was seen as disingenuous, began offering thoughts and prayers. By 2001, the United States was so entrenched in offering thoughts and prayers that no other form of sympathy would be offered until a little known newscaster a decade later said that he knew his thoughts and prayers were not enough to offer in the wake of yet another school shooting. The media was briefly thrown into turmoil as it looked for something more appropriate following monthly disasters requiring thoughts and prayers. However, no replacement has been articulated since the initial shockwave and indictment. Donald Trump will, no doubt, be expected to grieve with Americans when people are maimed or killed. As a candidate who won based on negating political correctness, many have asked whether he will continue using thoughts and prayers to empathize with his fellow Americans. There is a movement in the NBA, where names are often shortened, to abbreviate thoughts and prayers to TnP, as in, "Hey, man, I heard your cousin died. TnP, DJ." With Trump's preference for Twitter over press conferences, it's possible Americans will see something like this: School shooting was a horrible disaster. Teachers need guns. #TnP to all. I'm having steak for dinner #Trumprules Until Trump does shake up how we offer condolences, Real Wisconsin News would like to offer our continuous thoughts and prayers for the following situations affecting your lives: Natural disasters, cancer or disease, financial troubles, death of a loved one, getting shot, being bullied, erectile dysfunction, deployed soldiers, accidents, general pain, divorce, and your choice of any other heartbreaking situation for which we sincerely offer our thoughts and prayers. We, by rule, do not offer thoughts or prayers to those who are foreigners (unless attacked by terrorists or natural disaster), those who are incarcerated, or those who cause the situation for which we are offering said thoughts and prayers.
Wednesday, July 25, 2007 7008
In an effort to reclaim their good name, members of the ancient Vandal tribal group have sued the major news outlets for libel and defamation of character. “Just because our ancestors sacked Rome doesn’t mean we’re uncivilized today,” said Ulteric (no last name given). “And besides,” he continued, “all we did was pillage. It’s not like we spray painted ‘Pink Floyd Rules!’ on their frickin aqueducts.”

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