AP— Menomonee Falls, Wisconsin will join the bidding war to host the 2012 Summer Olympics next year, according to sources familiar with local village politics. The unlikely bid will come from Wisconsin’s Largest Village, which would also become the largest village ever to host the Olympics.
Menomonee Falls officials welcome the challenge to out-bid cities such as Chicago, Baltimore, and Philadelphia. International challengers include Rio de Janeiro, Madrid, Moscow, and Rotterdam.


When asked about the chances of a village hosting the Summer Games, one local official said, “Some of those cities aren’t even in the United States, and the ones in this country have much higher crime rates. Is Rotterdam in Switzerland?”


The Village claims that its two swimming pools in the junior high and high school will be the centerpiece of the bid. “Name me one other village in Wisconsin with two indoor pools,” quipped an anonymous village resident. The track and tennis courts are said to be in “fine” condition, as well.


Local schools will be turned into dormitories, and the high school has been slated to house the Eastern European teams because they would be “used to the conditions,” according to a source at the high school.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011 10123
Tom Barrett is considering whether he needs another ass kicking in a recall election for governor, but he may believe that he's been beat up enough over his career. Barrett has yet to throw his hat into the ring, and for good reason: Governor Walker's war chest will swell to sums Barrett could only have coma-induced dreams about because of the infusion of corporate donations from abroad. With that money, any candidate running against Walker will receive the business end of a big stick, then be dragged through the mud while chained to a large, gas-guzzling SUV. Barrett already took one beating from Walker, and he might be a bit gun shy about taking another high hard one for the team.
Wednesday, July 25, 2007 7110
In an effort to reclaim their good name, members of the ancient Vandal tribal group have sued the major news outlets for libel and defamation of character. “Just because our ancestors sacked Rome doesn’t mean we’re uncivilized today,” said Ulteric (no last name given). “And besides,” he continued, “all we did was pillage. It’s not like we spray painted ‘Pink Floyd Rules!’ on their frickin aqueducts.”

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