AP— Menomonee Falls, Wisconsin will join the bidding war to host the 2012 Summer Olympics next year, according to sources familiar with local village politics. The unlikely bid will come from Wisconsin’s Largest Village, which would also become the largest village ever to host the Olympics.
Menomonee Falls officials welcome the challenge to out-bid cities such as Chicago, Baltimore, and Philadelphia. International challengers include Rio de Janeiro, Madrid, Moscow, and Rotterdam.


When asked about the chances of a village hosting the Summer Games, one local official said, “Some of those cities aren’t even in the United States, and the ones in this country have much higher crime rates. Is Rotterdam in Switzerland?”


The Village claims that its two swimming pools in the junior high and high school will be the centerpiece of the bid. “Name me one other village in Wisconsin with two indoor pools,” quipped an anonymous village resident. The track and tennis courts are said to be in “fine” condition, as well.


Local schools will be turned into dormitories, and the high school has been slated to house the Eastern European teams because they would be “used to the conditions,” according to a source at the high school.

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Mary Burke, the Democratic candidate for governor of Wisconsin, has had to deal with accusations of plagiarism that are marking her campaign with red ink. However, she has recently gone back on the offensive, implying that Scott Walker could not have graduated college even if he had copied the work of others. In fact, she claimed, "Scott Walker so stupid he got fired from the M&M factory for throwing out all the Ws. On a serious note," she continued, "we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, and we will never surrender." The crowd of teachers Burke addressed worked itself into a frenzy, and then she continued:
Monday, February 25, 2008 7871
Anne Balentine was a fan-favorite back in the 1990s on Milwaukee's Channel Four. Nothing seemed out-of-the-ordinary with her, and I blissfully watched the news until one day my friend told me she had a prosthetic arm.

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