Former President George W. Bush learning Mexican.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007 11031
For the past several years, SLM Corporation, better known by its flowery fresh moniker Sallie Mae, has been the subject of increasing negativism. Anti-capitalist Chinese red commi sympathizers, from our very own sea to shining sea, have made complaints about sweet Sallie being less than nice in her lending practices. As a result, whiny sniveling college student mush brains and recent college graduates feeling sorry for themselves because they have to get a job have taken their accusations to the street.
Wednesday, July 25, 2007 14827
A sweet little Plymouth girl made over 100 prank phone calls in order to test the efficacy of Sheboygan’s 911 system. The young lady performed a vital public service, and should be commended for her efforts. Surely, countless lives will be saved because this little heroine took it upon herself to test the system and expose the faults that exist in our current 911 configuration, both in technology and in dealing with people. “You’d think someone would have gotten her name before she made 100 pranks for Chrissake!” said Sheboygan police officer Jim Bratz. “I mean, she’s eight—just ask her. I’m not putting those operators down or anything, but they’re freakin stupider than eight-year-olds, to be honest with you.”

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