“Wild” Bill Nielson, president of the Eau Claire Common Council, has issued a decree to all residents of the city. The short but poignant message reads “Love Thy Neighbor,” and it has been accepted with jubilation by the masses.

 

“I hadn’t really though of it before, but it makes all kinds of sense,” said Ty LaPlant, who lives in Horan Hall. “It would really be nice if my neighbors weren’t all guys.” 

Ty’s sentiments were echoed all across this fine metropolis, as dozens of citizens began loving their neighbors immediately. 

“I never used to like that one guy who showed up for class smelling like beer, but he’s OK now,” admitted Mandy Less. “He’s my neighbor, sorta.”

Local church officials refused to be interviewed, claiming that the secular “Love Thy Neighbor” decree doesn’t interest them.

 

Saturday, January 26, 2008 5787
In a campaign strategy long since thought dead, Hillary Clinton has elected to run an issues based campaign. Supporters are concerned that having effective policies won't be enough in a nation obsessed with superficial observations, parsnickity politicing, nice hair, cable TV sound bite reporting and overdone internet quasi-news.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007 15697
At first, the idea of the Food Stamp Challenge was for Americans to see what it’s like to live in poverty and spend a mere one dollar per meal, but organizers of the effort are now touting their challenge as a way for Americans spend less on food and pay down their debt. Utahns Against Hunger, who began the challenge as a way to bring publicity to difficult conditions suffered by the poor, said in a press release that the challenge was fun, but since nobody died or even suffered very much, they were going to change the direction of the challenge.

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