“Wild” Bill Nielson, president of the Eau Claire Common Council, has issued a decree to all residents of the city. The short but poignant message reads “Love Thy Neighbor,” and it has been accepted with jubilation by the masses.

 

“I hadn’t really though of it before, but it makes all kinds of sense,” said Ty LaPlant, who lives in Horan Hall. “It would really be nice if my neighbors weren’t all guys.” 

Ty’s sentiments were echoed all across this fine metropolis, as dozens of citizens began loving their neighbors immediately. 

“I never used to like that one guy who showed up for class smelling like beer, but he’s OK now,” admitted Mandy Less. “He’s my neighbor, sorta.”

Local church officials refused to be interviewed, claiming that the secular “Love Thy Neighbor” decree doesn’t interest them.

 

Saturday, October 20, 2007 5753
So my friend helped produce this short film screened at the Milwaukee International Film Festival, and asked me to come and check out the show. I saw a compilation of mostly bad short films. The high school student-written one ( Small Talk) was one of the best, probably because someone bothered to write it. Many of the films seemed to be simply videotaping maybe twenty hours of complete crap, and then editing it down to twenty minutes of complete crap (about nothing).
Saturday, July 28, 2007 7774
V100.7 Jams, #1 for hip hop and R&B, formerly known as the people’s station, ran out of programming for its “All Hip Hop Holiday” promotion. The official word is that V100 decided against only playing holiday music for the month of December because “It ain’t true to the spirit of the station, though we all love Christmas jams.” Anonymous sources, however, indicate the ill-conceived plan did not take into consideration the complete lack of hip hop Christmas material.

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