“Wild” Bill Nielson, president of the Eau Claire Common Council, has issued a decree to all residents of the city. The short but poignant message reads “Love Thy Neighbor,” and it has been accepted with jubilation by the masses.

 

“I hadn’t really though of it before, but it makes all kinds of sense,” said Ty LaPlant, who lives in Horan Hall. “It would really be nice if my neighbors weren’t all guys.” 

Ty’s sentiments were echoed all across this fine metropolis, as dozens of citizens began loving their neighbors immediately. 

“I never used to like that one guy who showed up for class smelling like beer, but he’s OK now,” admitted Mandy Less. “He’s my neighbor, sorta.”

Local church officials refused to be interviewed, claiming that the secular “Love Thy Neighbor” decree doesn’t interest them.

 

Saturday, January 26, 2008 6020
In a campaign strategy long since thought dead, Hillary Clinton has elected to run an issues based campaign. Supporters are concerned that having effective policies won't be enough in a nation obsessed with superficial observations, parsnickity politicing, nice hair, cable TV sound bite reporting and overdone internet quasi-news.
Monday, March 24, 2008 9277
People in India have seen the Virgin Mary when they look directly into the sun, a practice leaving a number of them partially blind. Real Wisconsin News has an exclusive photo of the phenomenon. You decide if it’s real.

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