Nicole Dewly, a freshman from Des Moines, has apparently misunderstood the term “Freshman 15,” but the guys in Towers don’t seem to mind. Nicole, or Nikki, as her friends call her, has worked hard to achieve the  number.

 

“I so wanted to fit in,” said Nikki in a late-night interview. “I’d heard about this Freshman 15, and I just had to do it. I mean, 15’s nothin’.

“Dude, she’s so hot,” my roommate claimed last week. “If you don’t, I will again.”

As of December 16, Nikki had reached a grand total of six towards her Freshman 15, and with her continued persistence, this reporter is sure that she will accomplish the goal in the end (no pun intended).

“As long as I pass finals and come back next semester, there is no way I’ll be denied,” claimed Nikki after our interview, and then added,  “Is this your sock?”

Friday, January 25, 2008 5765
Happens every year now, even though it did not back in the 90s when it mattered to me. For good times, read this:
Sunday, July 22, 2007 15243
The Milwaukee Bucks, in the hopes of drawing more fans, are in the process of acquiring a team that may not be able to compete on the court, but certainly will entertain people. The team will begin trading for players that are considered to be freaks of nature, or at least of basketball. Their recent acquisition of 5’5’’ Earl Boykins is the first in a string of trades that will create what is known as a theme-team. Just as the Harlem Globetrotters train mediocre players to dribble basketballs off referees’ heads and throw buckets of water on unsuspecting fans, the Milwaukee Bucks will also create a buzz when they travel through the NBA as they build their record book roster. While some may call them the freaks of the league, the Bucks front office is simply referring to the new team as team representing all of society. “The players will represent the dreams and sometimes nightmares of fans worldwide, and we will create an interesting brand of basketball for a city that is used to embracing all walks of life,” was the official word from the organization.

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