Newt Gingrich, in response to a question about gay marriage during the January 7th Republican Debate, said, "The sacrament of marriage is based on a man and woman; has been for 3000 years." He effectively rewrote history with that statement. However, it is unclear what Gringrich's version of history and religion might be, so Real Wisconsin News has taken the liberty to attempt to decipher his view of the world:

 

Newt gets burned as you read more:

Wednesday, October 17, 2007 10048
Girls Gone Wild founder Joe Francis is reportedly preparing for his potential ten-year prison term for tax evasion by buying a video camera. The same type of cutting-edge reality nude adventures he captured of college girls in need of attention will be filmed in the prison, with a working title of Guys Gone Wild: Prison Life Uncensored. Men serving time for crimes will be lured into exposing themselves to the camera for cigarettes and phone cards. Women and curious men will be treated to all kinds of wild situations, shower scenes, weightlifting, and the occasional beat-down. Instead of well-endowed college females, the camera will capture well-tattooed males coyly avoiding anything wild until enticed with enough tobacco to get wild.
Wednesday, May 21, 2014 17600
"I was really nervous but really happy to get the second pick. I was extremely nervous but it was really fun."

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