Rocky mountain high, Wisconsin! Yes, you’ve heard right. Now all the frost-brewed goodness is going to be brewed right here in the city known for people who forgot what it is to say, “When.”

Being the beer connoisseur that this writer is, seeing a merger such as this can only mean one thing…terrorists have finally gotten to the last thing that is truly holy and sacred in America.

Don’t be fooled by all the talk that this merger is what is best for the city and the two companies. Take Miller for instance, a good American cigarette company by the name of Phillip Morris owned it for a number of years and then sells out to company from South Africa. Too close to the Middle East for this writer’s likings.

Then once things appear to be running smoothly under this “South African” company and they decide with yet another American brewery so they can compete against Budweiser.

Think about it: if you were a terrorist, wouldn’t you be in support of having a beer nick named “the silver bullet.” Next thing we know they will develop something like a “Wisconsin Car Bomb” only it won’t involve the beer.

So, the next time your out conducting your own studies in the area of alconomics be sure and ask for something truly American…Wild Turkey!

Thursday, October 16, 2014 5101
After appearing less family-oriented during the first debate for governor of Wisconsin, Mary Burke appears to have outsourced a family in order to compete with Scott Walker on family values. While the Burke campaign claims her family is legitimate and had been kept under wraps to protect its privacy, Walker’s campaign claims Burke is making a mockery of family values by outsourcing to other continents. Real Wisconsin News has delved into the backgrounds of the newly-announced Burke family.
Saturday, September 20, 2014 9941
The US State Department, in response to accusations that Americans are uninformed about world politics, has released a new plan to help the most powerful nation’s people to better understand the rest of the world. The method used will not include memorization or difficult tests. Rather, the United States will rename other countries, governments, and religions to make discussing them more relevant to Americans. “Most Americans sound stupid when trying to discuss world politics,” says Secretary of State John Kerry. “The goal of renaming the world is so that we can discuss real issues with our friends and neighbors without getting confused and calling each other names.”

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