Journal Sentinel Story on similar prank

While Governor Scott Walker is hearing some condemnation for information he released during a taped prank phone call, that has not stopped him from taking other phone calls from VIPs without much checking. Real Wisconsin News was able to reach Walker while posing as some of the more unlikely of characters but not when we called as Wisconsin citizens.

We first called as "Brad Schuler," a pipefitter from Waukesha. Walker did not take that call, nor did he take a call from "Caleb Graborski," a DMV worker from the South Side of Milwaukee. Walker didn't even take a call from Charles Wingate III of Delafield, so we figured his aides had figured out how to screen the calls or Walker had decided talking to people about the bill had become too dangerous.

That all changed, however, when we called as former Secretary of State Colin Powell. Here's a partial transcript of that call:

CP - What up, G?

SW - Hello sir, it's great to hear from you.

CP - What the 411 on them protestin fools, yo?

SW - Let me tell you, they are smaller in size every day and mostly from out of state and not really in tune with the people of the state, who all wholeheartedly believe in me and my ideas that I've been saying all along. And I'm going to stand firm because I am not someone who's going to cave and I [...]

CP - You wants me to get some of my homies ta blast caps in they asses?

SW - No, not just yet. We considered that for a while but I didn't think the people would have liked it too much, even if the protesters are just a bunch of 60s hippies and lazy union employees skipping work with the mostly out-of-town union lobbyists. I think I have it under control and I can be a real take charge kind of guy, so I'm pretty much going to end communism in Wisconsin like you helped to end it in Iraq.

Walker went on discuss many details of his plan to get state senators back from Illinois and his plan to bust unions in general, and we were surprised how much he talked about himself and the details of his plans. That continued about an hour later when we called as none other than Ronald Reagan.

RR - Well, it's nice to talk to you, Scotty.

SW - Wow, sir, this is a real honor. I thought you were. uh. in a nursing home or something. I just celebrated your 100th birthday the other day. I hope you're well.

RR - Damn right.

SW - I guess you've heard that I took it to the unions like you did with the air traffic controllers and the communists. It's our own metriflorical Berlin wall coming down in Wisconsin because I don't negotiate with terrorists, communists, or teachers. Speaking of schools, I'm thinking of bringing back that ketchup as a veggie idea you and Nancy had. I think that could save us a load of money buying actual vegetables for the schools. Anyhow, they'll have to figure it out for themselves when I cut the spending by 50%, just like I said I was going to do all along. Cut collective bargaining and funding so that I can get some of that trickling-down effect when several multinational companies move here. And so businesses will reinvest in their employees and their facilities when I give them the tax breaks they deserve. We are in for a couple of decades of prosperity, just like those you gave us.We just need to find all the right people and make sure they're all one of us [...............]

Walker continued to discuss his plans for living up to Reagan's legend, hinting only a few times that he may aspire to the same Washington DC office as the former B actor and B president. After roughly fifteen minutes of Walker talking mostly about himself, again, we ended the call, saying Reagan needed to get his medication.

Our last call was going to be as God, but we figured Walker would just talk more about how clever and wonderful he was, so we actually didn't call back. Honestly, listening to Scott Walker go on and on about himself and how much he means to the people of Wisconsin was kind of deflating, since it might appear to outsiders that everyone in Wisconsin feels that way. That everyone is all about themselves and not their fellow man. That everyone cares about sticking it to the other guy and not giving him a hand. Then we remembered the unions.

Give Scott Walker a cal, but don't say we didn't warn youl: (608) 266-1212

Thursday, September 27, 2007 11984
An 18-year-old student was arrested Sept. 21 on charges of underage drinking and depositing of human waste when a witness reported him urinating off the Sandburg patio.
Tuesday, February 07, 2017 6013
The following is a list of news items not covered by media outlets and brought to our attention by the White House. Bowling Green, May 2011 What happened : In the first major terrorist cover up by the media as directed by terrorist supporter in chief Barack Hussein Obamadan, two Iraqi men were arrested after a rampage that left dozens of people in what is known as the Bowling Green Massacre. These men were later released into your town and are planning their next attack. Riyadh, January 2015 What happened : It's not clear. There are no reports of an attack in the Saudi capital that month, which is because the reports were covered up by the failing, lying press. What is clear is that something happened, and our thoughts and prayers go out to those affected. Paris, April 2015 What happened : There were no terror attacks in the French capital this month. However, nearly six million French people are buried in the catacombs under Paris. All these deaths can’t be explained away by a media bent on not covering terrorism. President Trump has indicated that we are one united world order, intent on tracking down and killing terrorists responsible for these millions of French people killed by terrorism and forgotten by their own country. El Gora, Egypt, September 2015 What happened : It is not clear. Donald Trump has used satellite imagery and his vast technological experience to point out large, square structures that have been built in Egypt, possibly to house terrorists. These square structures have four triangles inside the square, presumably to deflect and confuse American smart bombs. El Gora, Egypt, October 2015 What happened : It is unclear what incident this entry on the list refers to. However, something did, in fact, happen, and that’s what the media wants you not to believe. The White House knows what happened, and the people involved know who they are, so they have been put on notice that they will be hunted down Kuwait City, 2016 What happened : In between attacks that occurred in October 2016, the White House simply listed "Kuwait City, Kuwait" with no date. There were no attacks there at this time, but people who had reasons certainly considered those reasons, and a media with reasons chose not to report about the terrorists and their reasons. Reason enough to believe something DID happen. Malmo, Sweden, October 2016 What happened : A fire at a community center that caused only minor damage was claimed by IS. Most of the media giants refused to cover this disaster. More than likely, fires at senior centers, community centers, churches, and other places that Americans and Swedes gather to play cards and rail against terrorists are the responsibility of terrorists, and not some old guy with arthritis trying to light a cigar in the storage closet. Manila, Philippines, November 2016 What happened: There was no Islamist attack in the city in this month, but the discovery of a suspected bomb outside the US embassy was linked to IS. Had this bomb detonated, it would have been a terrorist attack that would have counted as an attack the media refused to cover, had the media not covered said attack, which is a tragedy. Horrible, fake news. N'Djamena, Chad, November 2016 What happened : There were some reports of shots having been fired at the US embassy by an unknown perpetrator on 30 November. While we all know that drunk people with guns do not always amount to major terrorist situations, especially when the embassy itself reports it as a mere security situation, it’s also evident that the media could have blown this situation up to be a major attack on an embassy in yet another African nation. Like those barely reported in Egypt, Libya, Yemen, and Tunisia by the moneybags, lying media. A media that might point out the Yemen is not technically part of Africa. Shame!

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