After his success at virtually eliminating Milwaukee County government, Scott Walker plans to do the same in Madison. The Milwaukee Republican wants to use the same techniques that he has employed in Milwaukee, along with a powerful line-item veto, in order to overhaul Wisconsin government into a lean and useless entity.

“My track record pretty much speaks for itself,” noted Walker. He cites elimination of programs and elimination of employees as his most notable accomplishments as County Executive, thereby making his own job and that of the entire county government all but obsolete.


“You know,” says Walker, “I brought my brown bag lunch to work every day and constantly thought of ways to get rid of myself as a government employee. I realize I was only in charge of about a dozen things as County Exec, but I made it my goal to make sure all of those tasks were done poorly and cheaply, thereby balancing budgets and creating general public opinion that the costs were useless in the first place. When I become governor, I will make sure that state government operates as efficiently as my county government has. And by efficiently, I mean not at all.”

Walker used the county parks and county transit system as examples of his policymaking that will lead to less government. Within the last decade, both the parks and buses were rated as near the best in the country, but now the buses are overpriced and unsafe compared to others, and the parks no longer appear to be cared for. “So here’s what I wanted to do,” quips Walker. “I wanted to decrease funding to the buses, which increased fares. Higher fares meant less people used the bus, so then we could run the bus less often to decrease costs, but that led to even fewer riders because of the added inconvenience, so we had to increase fares…See where I’m going with this? Anyhow, this is the 21st Century. Why are people riding a bus, anyhow?”

Walker cites a similar methodology in order to get the parks system off county balance sheets. “First you decrease funding and cut staff hours. Stuff starts falling apart, and some people stop going to the parks. Then the park supporters come out and start to work on the parks themselves. Some of them plant flowers, restore baseball fields so they can play on them, or pick up bullet casings. Then, some parks start to look nice again, so we can pretty much decrease funding some more. It’s a pay to play kind of thing. If you want to play basketball in a park, go to the sporting goods store and put up a hoop. Why should government be responsible for things like transportation or parks? Don’t even get me started on health care or land redevelopment.”

When asked if government should be responsible for anything at all, Walker hesitated. “Ensuring that corporations and individuals have rights, and new roads.And for that purpose, I will retain at least ten state government employees. Everyone else can go and find jobs in the private sector or work for a group of people who want to pool their money together in order to receive the service being offered. Since I’m hoping for a ‘negative tax burden’ in the next few years, citizens will be able to pool that saved tax money to go and spend it however they see fit. Some will want health care, nature preserves, clean waterways, education for their kids, parks, and other wants. However, some will just have a brown bag lunch and a little slice of the American Dream.”<-->

Wednesday, July 25, 2007 15933
Calendar Accurately Reflects Wisconsin’s Communities In an effort to continue the popular multicultural tourism calendar, first launched in 2005, yet maintain factual integrity, the Wisconsin Department of Tourism has released a segregated version. This calendar will depict realistic scenes of Real Wisconsin diverse citizens in their natural habitats as opposed to staged or doctored photos to falsely represent integration. The twelve photos used for each month are as follows:
Saturday, February 27, 2016 13435
As an independently wealthy business consultant, I can tell you how good it feels to tell others to go f-themselves. Like if someone doesn’t detail my BMW properly when it gets washed. However, there are some situations when I want to go tell a client to f-off, but I just have to let it go, like if the client makes more in a year than Guyana. Like if I was working for Johnson Controls, and Alex Molinaroli tells me to shine his shoes while wearing a French maid outfit, I’d probably do it because the man makes $20 million a year and deserves to be able to humiliate anyone he wants. Like his wife. I bet he treated her like dirt, but now she’s pretending he didn’t because she gets half of what he makes, and she wants him to keep his job, so she’s acting like he’s not such a bad guy anymore. That’s power, folks. Alex said f-you to his wife while boning a company consultant (no, not me), and then when the ex-wife ripped into him, he told her f-off again if she wanted to keep half his f-the-world salary. That’s bold: tell the world you lied yesterday about me, ex-wife! He probably made her change her Facebook status to reflect her new-found honesty about how good of a man he is. F-yeah, Alex Molinaroli! That’s what every ex-husband wants to be able to do. Alex Molinaroli, after telling his ex to go f-herself, then told the leftist press to go f-itself, giving an “often-testy 30 minute interview” to The Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel, clearing his name for those of us who can see that it takes two balls the size of the Allen-Bradley clock faces to take on the press, your ex-wife, the mistress you met at work, and allegations you blew millions of dollars in a Ponzi scheme (and continued to support the accused), all while saying f-you to anyone who thinks you might be inept at managing money or relationships. Alex Molinaroli apparently even said f-you to the board at Johnson Controls. That would be like me going into a client’s office and saying, “F-you; we’re doing this campaign my way or the highway. My ex-wife needs a new fur.” This is really a testament to America that a man can get to a point where he can tell his ex, the press, and his employer to f-off and have a job because he’s just that important. I mean, this man’s EX-wife makes more a month than my loser public school teacher brother-in-law makes in a YEAR. The company this man runs makes billions a year, and it’s obviously all because of him. In fact, Johnson Controls should probably consolidate operations and let a thousand or so employees go in the Milwaukee area so that they can retain Alex Molinaroli as CEO. He’s obviously worth well more than 200 of their $100,000 a year employees. He probably has CEOs of auto manufacturers wearing French maid outfits and shining his shoes as he tells them to f-themselves during negotiations. Truly, Alex Molinaroli is an example of why there is and needs to be a healthy class system in America. Some of us, those of us who tell the others to f-off, simply deserve others to be below us, and it’s a positive sign that Johnson Controls recognizes a truly classy man when they hire one. Plus, it’s a great way to say f-you to employees and customers interested in ethics and morals. As Alex Molinaroli says, "I think that we all make mistakes in our life. I assume that that is allowed." F-yeah!

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