Men feel good around Sarah PalinGovernor Sarah Palin’s visit to the United Nations sparked a lively debate after she left, with leaders discussing how they would handle her as an elected official. While the mainstream media portrays Palin as a stupid hockey mom flirt, UN officials saw her as a woman with the potential to make lasting relationships with other countries.

Vladimir Putin, who stopped in to see his Alaskan neighbor, began the discussion when he asked to be recognized by General Assembly President Miguel D’Escoto. “Mr. President,” he said, “I just want say for record that I like give Mrs. Palin Gulag treatment.” With Putin’s sometimes strange behavior and ties to the KGB, Ambassador T. Vance McMahan of the United States asked Putin for clarification. Putin responded with, “Ah, Gulag is reverse Russian Ballerina position. Both stand, but Ballerina from behind and Gulag from front. Pretty face, I go from front.” The room remained silent for a number of minutes while translators scrambled to make sense of the statement and move past the embarrassment.

French President Nicolas Sarkozy, also at the initial meeting of the 63rd General Assembly, finally broke the silence. “I would not kick her out of bed for eating chocolate mousse… Is that not right, Chocolate Moose?” he said as he talked in the general direction of his midsection. Mild laughter followed Sarkozy’s revelation, but Afghan President Hamid Karzai demanded to be heard next.

Said Karzai, “Let me say that I just sat down and talked with Mrs. Palin and she would make a fine addition to any government office. And I am willing to give her knee pads so she will not get rug burn on my hand-woven rugs. And for his trouble, I give her husband a yak.” The chamber erupted with laughter.

British delegate William Blake asked to be heard as well, and he began,” Let us not diminish in any way the accomplishments of women, I say. In general extracurricular or with Mrs. Palin in particular. She has weathered the Alaskan storms and many Idaho dorms. But in this debate expeditionary, my choice is… missionary.”

“I like zee leather. Und maybe bottle or American baseball bat. Too far? Ach, you UN babies. You sink the German always goes too far. Always spanking us. ‘Naughty Germans,’ you say. ‘naughty.’ OK, fine, I get her drunk and fall asleep on her like American pretty-boys do to our sweet Munich girls during Octoberfest.”

His Excellency Archbishop Celestino Migliore, permanent UN observer of the Holy See, tried to quell the debate. “You know not what you say, my children. You speak not of love but of other things. You speak not of relationships but of bondage. You’d  really be best to get her by the custom of beasts. Aruuuh!”

The locker room-style banter continued for some time, but eventually (like watching dirty movies with your friends or demonizing President Bush for going to war for no purpose), the whole thing got kind of old, and everyone went home to search for pictures of Palin online.

Thursday, September 27, 2007 5154
A laptop computer and digital camera valued at over $2,000 were stolen Sept. 11 when two men entered an unsecured off-campus residence in the 900 block of N. 17th St., saying they were undercover detectives looking for a suspect. They told the students to go into their bedrooms so the "detectives" could look for him. One student asked the men for identification at least two times. The students went into their bedrooms, and when they came out they found the items missing.
Thursday, June 11, 2015 10364
by Dan Brubus We’ve won against the big Union bosses and fat-cat public school teachers! The rest is spitting in their eyes and pissing on their graves. Some of you teachers are calling the latest measure ironic, but most of us don’t care or care to know what ironic means. I make triple what the priciest greedy teacher ever made and I don’t know what irony is. That goes to show that I’m smart, like Scott Walker, and teachers are dumb, like teenagers. The newest proposal to relax teaching requirements is simply brilliant because it’s wasn’t even on anyone’s radar. Total decoy, thrown in for those high-school-in-a-box companies that want to take over MPS. Station a few minimum-wage guards at the door. Sure, great if it passes, but the idea was take some of the heat off the other proposals. The ones that rip the guts out of school districts after we’ve already hijacked the greedy teachers’ will to fight. No limits on vouchers. The eventual goal is no limits for any income or place or anything. Blank check for mom and dad. Send the kids to a religious school if you want government cheese for God. Send them to Brookfield Academy if you want to spend an extra ten thousand over the voucher. The day is soon on this one, and in the same way Walmart put the local shops out of business, the same will happen in education. Walschool. The drain on the public schools won’t put them completely out of business right away, so a few measures have been inserted in the state budget to help them along. One is to allow all private and home schooled kids play sports with the public schools. Hey, their parents already pay big taxes to overpaid teachers, so their kids should get some kind of benefit. Besides, a lot of public schools are having trouble fielding teams because parents don’t want to send their kids to poor institutions, so they’ll need the players. The budget will end Chapter 220 and SAGE, both measures that tried to fix failing schools through smaller class sizes and integration. Many reputable studies have shown that smaller class sizes do nothing to help learning and that multiculturalism is just a myth. The expansion of charter schools would also be great if the new teacher licensing proposal does pass, but it’s not really necessary, since public school employees make about double what their former co-workers who have been laid off since Act 10 will take to do the same job, so it means more Walschools. Efficient, fiscally-responsible Walschools. Teaching beyond the Common Core and its lies. Teaching America how it’s done in Wisconsin. Showing the nation who’s driving the pickup if Scott Walker becomes the next president. And then it’s on to a national standard for teacher licensure. Maybe a new college standard, too. GED? Teach Women’s Studies. Middle school dropout? Teach economics. The point is it doesn’t matter. I went to college for four years, partied it up, got a job with a wealthy family member making wealth for the wealthy, and that all any of us need. I mean, Scott Walker, one of the great leaders of our time, couldn’t handle the rigors of college so he went on to become rich and powerful instead. That’s the American way, unwanted immigrants and those who would take away my right to own an assault rifle to protect my stockpiled food cache.

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