Men feel good around Sarah PalinGovernor Sarah Palin’s visit to the United Nations sparked a lively debate after she left, with leaders discussing how they would handle her as an elected official. While the mainstream media portrays Palin as a stupid hockey mom flirt, UN officials saw her as a woman with the potential to make lasting relationships with other countries.

Vladimir Putin, who stopped in to see his Alaskan neighbor, began the discussion when he asked to be recognized by General Assembly President Miguel D’Escoto. “Mr. President,” he said, “I just want say for record that I like give Mrs. Palin Gulag treatment.” With Putin’s sometimes strange behavior and ties to the KGB, Ambassador T. Vance McMahan of the United States asked Putin for clarification. Putin responded with, “Ah, Gulag is reverse Russian Ballerina position. Both stand, but Ballerina from behind and Gulag from front. Pretty face, I go from front.” The room remained silent for a number of minutes while translators scrambled to make sense of the statement and move past the embarrassment.

French President Nicolas Sarkozy, also at the initial meeting of the 63rd General Assembly, finally broke the silence. “I would not kick her out of bed for eating chocolate mousse… Is that not right, Chocolate Moose?” he said as he talked in the general direction of his midsection. Mild laughter followed Sarkozy’s revelation, but Afghan President Hamid Karzai demanded to be heard next.

Said Karzai, “Let me say that I just sat down and talked with Mrs. Palin and she would make a fine addition to any government office. And I am willing to give her knee pads so she will not get rug burn on my hand-woven rugs. And for his trouble, I give her husband a yak.” The chamber erupted with laughter.

British delegate William Blake asked to be heard as well, and he began,” Let us not diminish in any way the accomplishments of women, I say. In general extracurricular or with Mrs. Palin in particular. She has weathered the Alaskan storms and many Idaho dorms. But in this debate expeditionary, my choice is… missionary.”

“I like zee leather. Und maybe bottle or American baseball bat. Too far? Ach, you UN babies. You sink the German always goes too far. Always spanking us. ‘Naughty Germans,’ you say. ‘naughty.’ OK, fine, I get her drunk and fall asleep on her like American pretty-boys do to our sweet Munich girls during Octoberfest.”

His Excellency Archbishop Celestino Migliore, permanent UN observer of the Holy See, tried to quell the debate. “You know not what you say, my children. You speak not of love but of other things. You speak not of relationships but of bondage. You’d  really be best to get her by the custom of beasts. Aruuuh!”

The locker room-style banter continued for some time, but eventually (like watching dirty movies with your friends or demonizing President Bush for going to war for no purpose), the whole thing got kind of old, and everyone went home to search for pictures of Palin online.

Saturday, October 20, 2007 15310
An 18-year-old male student was arrested about 4:30 a.m. Oct. 14 on accusations of setting off the fire alarm at an off-campus apartment building in the 900 block of N.17th St. He was located about two blocks away and seemed intoxicated. He was also referred to Student Affairs.
Wednesday, November 09, 2016 12377
Donald Trump won America over by telling it like it is, and the fact is that most female heads of state are not beautiful women. Trump has been reluctant to give specifics, but based on past criticism of women, it would make sense that only two female leaders would make the cut in a pageant. Those two would be President Kolinda Grabar-Kitarovic of Croatia and a younger version of President Cristina Fernandez de Kirchner of Argentina. The rest of the female leaders would not tempt President-Elect Trump to kiss them uncontrollably or grab them anywhere without permission. Most female heads of state are simply not Mr. Trump's first choice. However, Trump has expressed interest in negotiations with Princess Kate, Princess Beatrice Borromeo (photo), and Princess Kay of the Milky Way, calling them all solid 8s, maybe 9s. Bill Clinton has confirmed that all female heads of state and princesses over the age of 22 are on his bucket list.

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