If Barack Obama is elected President of the United States, he must also give up his role as both a United States Senator from Illinois and his role as Moe in the wildly popular Canadian kids show “The Doodlebops.” The rules that govern America state that nobody can hold two offices or a role in a foreign television program while president.

Obama took the role as Moe in 2004 and has continued to film shows and tour with the group. However, his role as a Canadian pop sensation is at odds with national security if elected president, according to Washington sources. Known as the “Fred Thompson Exception,” the president can hold office with a role in an American television series, or appear in films made in Hollywood. Senator McCain, for example, could appear in another Wedding Crashers installment (see video here).

The recurring theme of Moe at the beginning of each “Doodlebops” episode is that he can never be found, a sentiment repeated by McCain when he wanted to appear with Obama in townhall-style debates this summer. However, Obama was in the midst of a grueling tour with the band. Especially difficult are all the break-dancing moves that Moe must perform each night, a throwback to Barack’s street performances while growing up in Honolulu.

Senator Moe-bama

On the television series, Moe is a colorful character who plays the drums and is quite energetic. He hides somewhere in Doodlebops Central at the start of each episode and he always must pull the rope, which results in a drenching of water. This addictive behavior has some in Washington concerned about his ability to lead. “What if he hides in the Oval Office each day?” said a McCain operative. “Or what if he develops a propensity to pushing buttons? Do we want this type of person with one finger on our nuclear arsenal?”

The television program promotes unity amongst its three main characters, and Obama has carried that message to the American public. It also promotes Canadian values like socialism and mispronouncing the word “out,” and that’s where the conflict of interest would occur. While McCain appeared in a “Boobfest” about guys getting laid using false pretenses, it was good American fun, and not Canadian propaganda.

Here are some of Moe’s favorites:

Instrument: drums
- Favorite color: orange
- Favorite activity: making noise!
- Favorite food: celery...because it's loud!                               
- Loves to read about: Dinosaurs
- Favorite animal: monkey
- Very good at: playing hide and seek
- Always has: messy hair
- Favorite saying: "Taa daa! Here I am!"

Wednesday, January 02, 2013 10210
Cliff Clavin, longtime patron of Cheers bar, is said to be no longer welcome to step up to the bar where everybody knows his name as "Fiscal Cliff." The other patrons at the bar had been complaining that they had to spend their time drinking away their problems next to a mail carrier whose salary "rapes our wallets." Norm, often seen as Cliff's best bar friend, had this to say: "Being a straight painter who works for myself, I can't stand freeloaders who work cushy government jobs and then use my tax money to get wasted every day after work. If he wants to get drunk, then he can start his own business and use that money to buy booze." The jabs keep coming here:
Wednesday, March 05, 2008 5016
Dear Biker Chick, I invited all of my friends to a party at my house recently, and almost none of them got back to me, even though I asked for an RSVP. It’s not like I did some afterthought of an email invite; I sent most of them actual letters! I had to overbuy on the food and especially beer, just in case some of my friends brought their alcoholic boyfriends. Has etiquette disappeared so much and is there anything I can do? Alice in West Allis Dear Stally Ally, If you were really popular in high school and maintained that through college in a sorority and then married a rich husband, then you wouldn’t have to worry about this kind of crap. Everyone would want to come over to your McMansion and eat lobster. If you were a burnout and a slut in high school and then got a job in retail before marrying a loser, I know where you’re coming from, and your friends will always attend any party you throw if they’ve got nothing else going on. Don’t expect a reply, and definitely don’t bother with mail—most people probably thought you were rubbing their noses in the fact that they’re still living at home or in some sleazy apartment instead of in their own houses. Send them an email next time and quit your complaining. If you got three people to show up, that’s enough to prove you’ll have someone attend your funeral someday. Stick the food in the freezer and drink the booze until you feel better about the whole thing. And by all means, when they invite you to their house someday, don’t respond, and then either show up trashed and flirt with all the married men or just don’t show up at all if you find something better to do.

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