Who hasn’t wondered from time to time, “How do these half-yuppie, half-hippies dancing in front of me at Summerfest keep f@#$ing procreating? Who keeps filming Mel Gibson movies?” or “How can there still be fans of the NY Yankees or Minnesota Vikings?” These are rigorous and valid questions. Darwin’s principles of natural selection tell us that undesirable characteristics and behaviors are selected against in the breeding process. After millions of years of human evolution, shouldn’t we be able to live a life free of these douchebags?

The Wisconsin Minutemen, a Tea Party group from Washington County, have bestowed Scott Walker with an honorary college degree from The International College of Metaphysical Theology. John Murphy, representing the Minutemen, presented Walker with the honorary degree in the midst of the public condemnation of Walker's attacks on state employee unions. Said Murphy, "We wanted to once and for all end the rumors and accusations surrounding Scott Walker and his lack of education. He's doing exactly as he's been told, and that's what a good politician or student does."