British military personnelIn a surprise deployment decision, the British have pulled out of the city of Peterborough, England because of homeland attacks on their troops. While the nearby air base will remain operational, the troops have been advised to not enter the city wearing their uniforms because of a barrage of verbal attacks launched by citizens who oppose the war effort.

According to the AP, “It’s like Christina Aguillera wearing a Catholic schoolgirl outfit at a construction site.” While Britain remains steadfast as a coalition member in Iraq and Afghanistan, the government may have to pull back some of their troops to maintain order at home.

If you are interested in mounting your own verbal assault on soldiers in your community, here’s the Real Wisconsin News Guide to Verbally Assaulting Military Personnel (RWNGVAMP):

  1. Ask military personnel if they learned anything useful in the service. When they talk about hard work, dedication, discipline, and the like, laugh at them and say, “Those aren’t exactly the American ideals you were fighting for.”
  2. Salute them incessantly. When they ask you to stop, claim they’re trying to suppress your rights as a free American and chain yourself to the bar stool.
  3. In a public restroom, ask permission to do everything, as in: “Permission to take a leak, sir? Permission to shake it, sir? Permission to wash my hands, sir? Permission to exit latrine, sir?”
  4. Call Marines “soldiers.” When they correct you, keep doing it. Then run away quickly.
  5. Offer to pay for their drinks at a bar. When they thank you, say, “With what you make and how you manage your money, you can use all the help you can get.”
  6. Go into a recruiting office, fill out all the paperwork, sign on the dotted line, and then say, “Yeah, right, like I’d do that!” and walk out.
Thursday, October 18, 2007 10563
On the heels of the successful “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” television series, the Fox Network is banking on another teenage superhero drama to help their beleaguered fall lineup. Wonder Woman will be returning to the airwaves this fall with a brand new attitude. In fact, kind of a bad attitude.
Monday, January 01, 2018 12600
Wisconsin governor Scott Walker has been excited about the Foxconn deal for Wisconsin, though he did avoid talking about it after the signing. Wisconsin residents are asking whether it's a good deal for the state to add Foxconn to its payroll. In fact, the state will be paying new employees of Foxconn $15,000 to $19,000 per job annually. While it may be true that these will not be actual state employees, they will also not cost as much as actual state employees, so it actually works out in the state’s favor, according to Walker. While roads and parks may be in disrepair, thousands of new private sector jobs will be created, and most of those new employees will likely not care about services the state might offer. While it’s true that the average corporate incentive arrangement only adds up to a state kicking in $2,457 per year. Basically, taxpayers will be paying over 15% of the wages to Foxconn employees, a workforce that could top out at 13,000. However, taxpayers must realize that when the government was bloated and paying many employees in excess of $30,000 a year and benefits, that’s more than double the investment in paying Foxconn to build electronics in Wisconsin. While it’s true that there was enforcement of DNR rules and teachers for children, the fact is that most people from Wisconsin would rather watch a youtube video of a rap battle between Donald Trump and Pocahontas than pay their hard-earned money into a corrupt system of fat-cat, liberal, career government employees. These people are perfectly fine that Foxconn employees will be making more money than them, with a substantial percentage provided by their own taxes, so long as those Foxconn employees do not tell them what to watch on the screens that are being manufactured in Wisconsin. Jeremy Atkins, a college marketing major, says that he is grateful that he might be able to work for Foxconn with money provided by Wisconsin taxpayers. “I will show my appreciation to the taxpayers of Wisconsin by purchasing my Porsche in the state” Atkins claimed. “I will also show my appreciation by paying Wisconsin income taxes even as I live closer to Chicago, over the border. I mean, have you seen Mount Pleasant? I’d rather live in Taiwan!” Atkins also claims that he hopes that with hard work and dedication, he might someday work his way to up own the company, which is generally the dream of most American workers. Like those who work for Toyota, HSBC, Sony, or Siemens.

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