Anne Balentine was a fan-favorite back in the 1990s on Milwaukee's Channel Four. Nothing seemed out-of-the-ordinary with her, and I blissfully watched the news until one day my friend told me she had a prosthetic arm.

 

I couldn't help but watch the arm after that day. We should all be bigger than that, but I wondered things like: How far up did it go? Did she take it off at night? If Mike Gousha made an unwanted pass at her and she slapped him with it, could she knock him out?

Anne was a pleasant newscaster and an inspiration to people with disabilities. In fact, she gave me hope that I could someday appear on the news, even though I was slightly overweight, had more than my share of facial acne, and sported more chest hair than the post-1970s average newscaster. Wherever you are Anne, thank you.

Today, Anne is possibly a spokeswoman for a local hospital, but that could be some other Anne Ballentine, I suppose.

Anne, if you're reading this, please buy my book:

Friday, August 31, 2007 11106
Four rolls of toilet paper were reported stolen Aug. 13 from a women's bathroom at Olin Engineering.
Wednesday, July 25, 2007 13414
President Bush, in a startling use of language last week, properly used a multi-syllabic word in a sentence. Describing newly declared Presidential candidate Senator Barack Obama as "articulate," Bush successfully made the attempt to string together several words without bumbling. As it turned out however, supporters of Senator Obama, couldn't appreciate the historic occasion.

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