An incomplete list and incoherent archive of the happenings in the race to finally replace George W. Bush.

Hillary Clinton suggests that Barack Obama be his boy and take the number 2 seat until he's all grown up.

Mike Huckabee drops out of race and considers position with "Evangelical Scamming Enterprises, LTD."

John McCain considers teammates from Keating Five for Vice President.

Hillary Clinton wins popular in Texas, Ohio and Rhode Island, suggesting Barack Obama isn't that popular with grown ups.

God suggests Mike Huckabee drop out of race and stop telling people they talk.

Mitt Romney dropped out of the Republican race with an impassioned speech that appealed to both self-absorbed rich guys and conservatives who don't know why they are conservative.

Super Tuesday not as climatic as Super Sunday, but Strahan gets much deserved MVP.

Obama not acting black at all according to several white commentators.

John Edwards parts hair, leads his people to fifth consecutive humbling defeat, quits bid for messiah.

Fred Thompsen dropped out of the Presidential race, seems more upbeat.

Hillary Clinton changes stance on barefoot, cookie making motherhood Milfdom, considers Salma Hayek as running mate.

Various inner-city self appointed angry black men leaders very upset that Obama is acting like he's "all that."

South Carolinians put black mark on primary with 71% of African Americans not voting for Hillary Clinton despite Bill and Hillary's finger waiving.

Mitt Romney swears he's not bought and paid for by rich right wing Republican elites, says his butler.

Mike Huckabee claims moral victories as happily as moral majority nods of approval.

Neo-Cons to IPO: Seek capital to buy Presidential Election again, considering Cheney/Rumsfeld ticket.

John McCain gains McGruff the Crime Dog's endorsement.

Thursday, September 27, 2007 11108
Paramedics were called to the union Sept. 19 when a man said he was having an allergic reaction to his wedding band. The man's finger was swollen, and the ring was cut off. Can we say bad omen? Better than an allergic reaction to his wife's syphilis, anyhow.
Wednesday, July 25, 2007 5743
American Dreaming With Dan Brubus Keep driving your SUVs, people, because we’re about make history! I knew my Lord and savior Jesus Christ was on my side when I decided against going to Miami to take a job with a competitor. “Yeah, the weather sucks here,” I reasoned, “and the girls aren’t nearly as hot, but I can afford a Brookfield mansion for less than a million bucks, and still have enough left over to stock my garage.” Anyhow, the great weather is about to come to me, so I’ll be retiring at about 55 with more money in the bank than you’ll make in a lifetime, and beautiful weather, as well. What do we have to thank for all this? Global warming, of course.

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