An incomplete list and incoherent archive of the happenings in the race to finally replace George W. Bush.

Hillary Clinton suggests that Barack Obama be his boy and take the number 2 seat until he's all grown up.

Mike Huckabee drops out of race and considers position with "Evangelical Scamming Enterprises, LTD."

John McCain considers teammates from Keating Five for Vice President.

Hillary Clinton wins popular in Texas, Ohio and Rhode Island, suggesting Barack Obama isn't that popular with grown ups.

God suggests Mike Huckabee drop out of race and stop telling people they talk.

Mitt Romney dropped out of the Republican race with an impassioned speech that appealed to both self-absorbed rich guys and conservatives who don't know why they are conservative.

Super Tuesday not as climatic as Super Sunday, but Strahan gets much deserved MVP.

Obama not acting black at all according to several white commentators.

John Edwards parts hair, leads his people to fifth consecutive humbling defeat, quits bid for messiah.

Fred Thompsen dropped out of the Presidential race, seems more upbeat.

Hillary Clinton changes stance on barefoot, cookie making motherhood Milfdom, considers Salma Hayek as running mate.

Various inner-city self appointed angry black men leaders very upset that Obama is acting like he's "all that."

South Carolinians put black mark on primary with 71% of African Americans not voting for Hillary Clinton despite Bill and Hillary's finger waiving.

Mitt Romney swears he's not bought and paid for by rich right wing Republican elites, says his butler.

Mike Huckabee claims moral victories as happily as moral majority nods of approval.

Neo-Cons to IPO: Seek capital to buy Presidential Election again, considering Cheney/Rumsfeld ticket.

John McCain gains McGruff the Crime Dog's endorsement.