Tom Cruise suggests Britney Spears may need meds.

If you cry for help, will anyone hear? Read the book to find out:

Friday, August 17, 2007 11493
Two people were the victims of a robbery about 4 a.m. Aug. 3 as they walked on Oakland Ave. at Belleview Ave. The robber knocked down one of the victims and took a cell phone. It's funny that you read this account, and I feel like I somehow stole your old-ass cell phone from when the story was written. To help make me feel better, I offer this:
Monday, October 01, 2007 14456
While some fans are disappointed with the finish to the [insert year here] Milwaukee Brewers season, team members believe they have the Chicago Cubs right where they want them. Instead of the Brewers going on to lose in the first round of the playoffs, players will be able to sit at home with their families and watch the Cubs lose in the first round.

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