One of the new morning after pills

People have been making bad decisions about sexual encounters for ages, but a recent development in long-term memory inhibition has led to the creation of a new form of morning-after pill, suitable for both male and female. Both pills promise to erase an uncomfortable situation, but use drastically different methods in doing so.

While neither pill claims to be able to block pregnancy, both are able to block any memory of the act that led to it. The first pill, which has been used in conjunction with therapy to help soldiers with post-traumatic stress disorder, is called propranolol. This pill must be used in conjunction with a 1-800 phone call or an online chat session with a trained therapist in order to be effective. Each series of pills will cost around $500, but it comes with the all-important consultations. A memory must be transferred from short-term memory into long-term memory, and then retrieved, in order to become permanent. Propranolol allows for the links to be broken, but a therapist must be available to help break the links and make sure the memory stays out of the long-term memory storage of the brain. “It’s like a phone number,” said Rene Matin, a  doctor working on the project. “We can remember it long enough to dial the number, but unless we continue to access the number and dial it, the digits will be lost soon after we memorize them to our short-term memory. We simply turn a bad one-night stand into a forgotten phone number.” The package contains five pills and a case number. Once activated, the client is given five consultations, administered in conjunction with taking one pill each session. The effectiveness of propranolol as a memory inhibitor is increased if the event is fresh in the memory, so people are instructed to begin the process of forgetting immediately after waking up and getting away from the situation. “If there is any cuddling or even talking, the effectiveness decreases exponentially,” said Dr. Matin.

While propranolol will be an expensive and hit-or-miss solution for forgetting an unfortunate night, another drug promises to completely erase the memory for a lot less money, but involves an interesting twist. A drug called U0126, marketed under the name Oops, can completely erase a memory if it is taken just before the memory is reenacted. Yes, reenacted! This means that the user would have to take the pill, which creates a limited amnesia state, and then proceed to do what is desired to forget. “Basically, our pill allows people to have two one-night stands and not have to remember either one,” said Paul Pocher, a spokesman for the company.  Some critics think that drugs such as Oops could be abused, but Pocher had this to say: “We all have that one night, or two dozen, that we’d like to forget, and this is a great way to experience that horrible yet memorable night one more time before we forget it forever. It’s actually quite poetic.”

The FDA, made up mostly of employees of the drug companies, has said that the pills are perfectly safe and natural. “Our current stance is that all drugs are natural, since they are all created from something found in nature,” said an FDA spokesman. “However,” he stressed, “we are working on regulating vitamins and other homeopathic pills because they have not been tested by major pharmaceutical corporations for their efficacy and viability in the marketplace.”

This is real science, people. For more articles like this, read this:

Thursday, September 11, 2014 10808
To be honest, that meteorologist on Channel 13 is kind of fat. She does know all about sleet, snow, hail, rain, and that kind of stuff. All things being equal, however, I’d rather see a real sexy lady offering up the kind of data that makes me hot, or cold, depending on the front.
Tuesday, November 07, 2017 10518
Real Wisconsin News is real good, but if you're looking for real news that's not in Wisconsin, not fake, and not actually news, then New Jax Witty is our little friend in Jacksonville, Florida. The news is in the form of researched opinion. And it has nothing to do with Milwaukee or Wisconsin or anyone there, except for the references to the area by a former Wisconsin resident who will be collecting his WI retirement money somewhere else. That doesn't make him a bad person. There's also some useful information for Wisconsinites on New Jax Witty, like whether or not a person who lives in Jax is called a Jacksonvillian or Jaxite or what. Here's a list of some of the search terms that are getting people to find the new website about Jacksonville, along with an analysis as to why: fort caroline georgia - Fort Caroline is in Jacksonville, but some people think it's really in Georgia fort caroline history - There's a well-researched article about the history on the website, but the writer is no professor of antiquities arielle nixon action news jax - Go ahead and check her out if you want to see why an article mentioning her is getting some action hoarder cleanup kingman - this has nothing to do with anything from the website, but Google seems to think it does florida has the worst drivers - actually, no, which is proven here giant pickup truck - there's an article talking about why guys buy these, and it's as obvious as you think arielle nixon - and there's the reason guys buy giant pickup trucks pappy boynton - some confusion about the spelling of a famous war veteran in an article jacksonville 102.9 - the alternative station that's more like mainstream 90s brooklyn cyclones hats - not for sale here, but mentioned brooklyn cyclones t shirts - yes, there's an article about hats, but not t-shirts 102.9 jax - more people trying to see if their favorite radio station is cool jacksonville lizard kings - the old hockey team in Jax brooklyn cyclones hat - New Jax Witty should just sell these hats arielle nixon husband - she's not interested in you, so don't go all looking to see if she's single jacksonville mabl - the Cyclones hat is for this league adt abilene tx - there's an article about perceived crime and listings of cities with more crime wittygiant - someday, perhaps brooklyn cyclones fitted hat - honestly, there's a market for these hats giant pick up truck - there is no evidence Arielle or any other newscaster likes these trucks, but apparently women in general do witty.com - no, that one was taken x102.9 jacksonville jacksonville fl hip hop radio station - anyone who types that much as a search phrase is not crunk x102.9 jax gis - one article discusses features the Jacksonville GIS map should have fort caroline indians - the article about Fort Caroline talks about the Indians who lived in the region witty - generally, it is action news jax - for those not searching specifically for Arielle 102.9 jacksonville puff nightclub jacksonville fl - we know nothing about this nightclub, but if it gets people to visit the website, then so be it brooklyn cyclones cap - really, we should own stock actionnewsjax - one word = more action jacksonville ice hockey - yes, there's a team

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