While some critics charge that the Bush Administration has ignored global warming and passed big-business polluter-friendly legislation, the White House is suggesting Americans wait until November 4th, 2007 to decide.

Daylight Saving Time ends at 2 a.m. on November 4th, giving the country an extra week of saving daylight, and energy, as opposed to last year. Combined with nearly a month of extra daylight saving in the spring, President Bush is confident that he will be seen as the president who did the most to preserve our nation’s natural resources.

“For all his talk about parks and such, it wasn’t Clinton who came up with this idea,” said Bush, referring to President Clinton’s setting aside of over 6 million acres of land to be dedicated as national monuments. While Clinton was concerned about some environmental issues, Bush contends, he missed the fuel-cell boat on Daylight Saving Time. “It’s a no-brainer,” said a smirking George W. “We plan on saving Americans an estimated $30 trillion over the duration of the policy (forever). At an hour per household per year per night for about a month per year, that’s a lot of energy we’re saving.”

The White House has suggested that other corporations could purchase credits from the energy saved so that they can avoid strict environmental standards and continue to create job opportunities for Americans.  “We need to have an energy policy that is sensible and does not penalize companies for polluting,” said Bush. When asked from whom the energy credits would be bought, Bush said the energy utilities would handle the details, but that everyone would benefit.

Some environmentalists have accused Bush of being too lenient on polluters, but the White House believes that Bush’s commitment to Daylight Saving Time will be seen as his greatest legacy as president, and he will always be seen as one of America’s greatest environmental leaders.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007 8959
Parents today are faced with a choice—allow your kids to figure things out for themselves, or control their every move. If parents allow kids to be on their own, this freedom will result in pregnancy, drug addiction, and jail time. While some parents are comfortable with allowing their children to become hoodlums, most of us want to be in complete control of our children’s lives, and here’s your guide to taking action.
Friday, November 18, 2016 8716
What we say and what we mean about Donald Trump. These words apply to both liberal and conservative, friend and foe. Probably even offspring and wives. What we say: He’s a successful businessman What we mean: He runs companies into the ground yet stays rich. He fails time and again yet claims to be an authority. He tells truthful hyperbole and people believe him. That’s probably success. What we say: He has small hands What we mean: He has a small cock and compensates buy covering things in gold that have no business being covered in gold, like his hair color. What we say: He tells it like it is What we mean: He makes everything up as he goes, and does it loudly, like an American tourist in Western Europe. He’s your idiot cousin who’s good at oil changes, so you let him change your oil, even if he insists on listening to his favorite Limp Bizkit CD. What we say: What he said about women is locker room talk, and his accusers are liars What we mean: Men: I WISH I could get away with saying and doing what he’s said and done. Women: With that money and power, he can grab me like a pair of boots on Black Friday What we say: He’s a Christian What we mean: I care about one issue in the world, and that’s abortion. And not being compassionate towards foreigners or those who are sick. And making a lot of money. What we say: He’ll make America great again What we mean: My wife stopped giving me head after a year of marriage, and then some brown person moved into the house two over from me and has a better job than my wife who has a better job than me. What we say: He says what I want to say and isn’t politically correct What we mean: I will no longer be seen as the biggest douchebag around at family gatherings and on social media. What we say: He’s a good person What we mean: I care about one issue in the world, and that’s abortion. And not being compassionate towards foreigners or those who are sick. And making a lot of money. What we say: He has a beautiful wife What we mean: She is a golddigger and a trophy. He’s a sleazy old man who is the envy of most other old men who don’t have the money or energy to be sleazy. What we say: His wife is not only beautiful but also intelligent What we mean: She’s a stupid fashion model who looks good in anything, even smart people clothes, and she can get away with plagiarism and saying less than a Muslim wife because she’s from a Third-World Eastern European Country and freakin stupid, but I don’t care. What we say: He’s taking America back! What we mean: A Black president was as much as I could handle. A woman? Hell no! I’m not racist or sexist. I’m just telling it like it is.

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