It’s hard enough convincing my parents to give me a little cash once in a while, but now I have to pay extra when I buy some stuff at the liquor store with the credit card they gave me. How am I supposed to feel right about buying a couple of forties when they’re taking an extra $.50 just to process my card?

I got into it with the store owner, and he said his small business pays hundreds of dollars each month to allow people to use credit cards, and he can’t survive if he doesn’t jack up the rate. And I can buy that,  because he’s just an honest guy trying to make a living selling booze, tobacco, and titty mags.

I totally googled it, and learned that credit card companies make a shit ton of money already, because people buy stuff and then pay it off later at like 20% interest. Someone on this one site called it usury, but that’s a nice term for loan sharking, I think. So the card companies are kinda cool because they loan shark my parents and then take payoff money from my booze dealer.

The thing that isn’t cool, though, is that I need to pay an extra $.50 each time I make a beer run, and at that rate, my parents are better off paying a yearly fee to have the card, especially if the grocery store by my house and 24-hour eating establishment down the block start bustin  me with fees, too. So far, I’ve been able to convince my parents it’s not safe for me to carry cash all around with me and that I’d be too irresponsible to have my own credit card, so they’ve let me hang on to theirs, but this might piss them off if they check the bill over for errors.

The liquor store dude said only the government could step in and help out the small business owners, but what can I do about that? I’m not a lobbyist or anything, and my dad says government is wasteful and all that, so he won’t help. I guess I’ll just have to hop on the bus and go to one of those big grocery stores that don’t charge extra fees, but that includes me freezing my ass off at the bus stop and sitting next to people who smell worse than that guy in my physics course who wears spandex shorts and rides his bike all over campus. Maybe I’ll just stock up next time and then I won’t have to pay the fees as often.

Friday, July 13, 2007 44256
Don Imus, the much-maligned syndicated radio personality, will teach a breakout session at the National Organization for Women Conference in Detroit this July. He has decided to pay penance for his remarks about the Rutgers women’s basketball team (calling them nappy-headed hos) by presenting on “Why (White) Men Fear (Black) Women” during an early-bird breakout session, just after “Yoga With Grace Welch.” In his workshop, Don Imus is scheduled to talk about how the patriarchal society he lives in has shaped him into a person who does not value women in general and Black women in particular. Imus is said to be preparing his materials during his two-week suspension from the radio. He will discuss the depiction of women in America from the early captivity and moral novels to today’s personal narratives of abuse and other stuff men don’t care about. Imus will then take on the depiction of all women in the media, and especially the depiction of Black women as either hos or big mamas. He is planning on delving into the objectification of women in pornography, the marginalization of Asian women through happy-ending or fortune cookie jokes, the conceptualization of American Indian women as squaws, the visualization of Italian women as hairy and good cooks, the metamorphosization of Latinas from oppressed housewives to big-bootied-hos in pop music, and the externalization of all women as either hos or mothers. While some women have protested Imus being invited to the conference, others see it as a learning opportunity, both for themselves and for him. An organizer of the event said, “Mr. Imus will be repenting for his sins against the brotherhood of women and offering us a forum during which we may yell at him on a more personal level.” Women from the Rutgers basketball team have cried foul over the invitation, and have vowed to boycott the NOW conference, just as they now boycott the show. “We used to listen to Don Imus before games to get us pumped-up,” said one player, “but now that he’s just another white devil, we’ll listen to the John Tesh show instead. Or, maybe we’ll watch us a Lifetime movie, because them ladies know how to handle a trifling man, with a shovel to the head or a 2” heel to the eye.” Team members have also vowed to not use any relaxer in their hair in order to demonstrate to Imus just how nappy a head of hair can get. The future of Imus’s radio show is uncertain, especially with the potential loss of African-American female listeners. He has already been dropped from television, but Imus is confident that his new brand of sensitive talk will bring in more listeners who want to confront their own hegemonical views of women as weaker, more emotional, and less intelligent, not to mention better at cleaning and care-giving.
Tuesday, July 24, 2007 6527
American Dreaming With Dan Brubus Capitalism always wins. Pure and simple. America developed the F-14 Tomcat over many years. It was used to keep the world safe, but now it’s time to sell the leftovers to the highest bidder. Yes, the highest bidder does happen to be on my short list of countries I’d like to see blown up by next year, but we can benefit from their desire to bolster their military before we crush them. We should sell F-14 Tomcats to Iran because we have the greatest military on earth and our treasury could use the cash to help fund the war on terror.

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