Mary Burke, the Democratic candidate for governor of Wisconsin, has had to deal with accusations of plagiarism that are marking her campaign with red ink. However, she has recently gone back on the offensive, implying that Scott Walker could not have graduated college even if he had copied the work of others. In fact, she claimed, "Scott Walker so stupid he got fired from the M&M factory for throwing out all the Ws. On a serious note," she continued, "we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, and we will never surrender." The crowd of teachers Burke addressed worked itself into a frenzy, and then she continued:

A student reported that a laundry basket holding a 12-inch fan, electric cords and other items with a total value of $50 was stolen Aug. 22 the day after he moved into O'Donnell Hall. Yes, folks, a fan.