Hey, why not!

Wednesday, September 14, 2016 12361
National, state, and local governments are paying close attention to Samsung's handling of its Note 7 debacle, taking notes on how to handle dissatisfied customers and employees. The consumer electronics giant that developed exploding phones has sent pizza to all of the stores in South Korea that have to take returns of the faulty devices, and it seems to be working. Therefore, government agencies in America are planning on similar freebies in order to smooth over policies. Governor Scott Walker of Wisconsin was the first national figure to use the pizza pill, sending out Little Caesar's pizzas to all teachers and university staff this week. The state educational system has had trouble hiring and keeping competent employees after the unprecedented budget cuts to both K12 and university public education in the state, but Walker hopes that extending the olive branch with one-topping pizzas will force the teachers to realize that the cuts were to their benefit. "How many times did unions provide a nutritious pizza lunch for those who paid dues?" Walker asked. Similarly, the Obama Administration will be providing pizza to employees of the insurance companies that administer Obamacare plans. "This pizza is a reminder that together we can become a healthier nation. Together we can ensure the human right of health insurance is administered to all. Together we can enjoy a meal in every slice." Obama has taken heat for the use of supreme and specialty pizzas from more expensive pizza chains instead of the $5 pizzas offered by Governor Walker. However, Obama stressed that nothing is too good for the people who help Americans fulfill their dreams of healthy living.
Wednesday, July 25, 2007 13069
The Milwaukee Journal Sentinel plans to announce that its entire news staff will be replaced by the community columnists it has been using in its editorial section because of the popularity of the concept. A press release indicated that readership numbers have increased since the pilot program of using real Milwaukee-area writers began. These writers use little or no research and have no ethical responsibility for what they write, but the readers have seen the articles as more interesting than the normal news.

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