Videotaped Confession Trounces RumorsWhile he may look great in an expensive suit, Herb Kohl finally admitted Tuesday that he is, in fact, straight. This revelation may come as a surprise to the homosexual community and the Shepherd Express, but actual footage of the senator admitting his orientation can be seen as well in some older Milwaukee Bucks video footage obtained by Real Wisconsin News. In the footage, Big Dog Glenn Robinson asks Senator Kohl if he’d like a sip of his Kool Aide, and Senator Kohl clearly states, “No thanks, Dog. I’m straight.” Big Dog seems to answer with, “I gotcha, big man.

Cliff Clavin, longtime patron of Cheers bar, is said to be no longer welcome to step up to the bar where everybody knows his name as "Fiscal Cliff." The other patrons at the bar had been complaining that they had to spend their time drinking away their problems next to a mail carrier whose salary "rapes our wallets." Norm, often seen as Cliff's best bar friend, had this to say: "Being a straight painter who works for myself, I can't stand freeloaders who work cushy government jobs and then use my tax money to get wasted every day after work. If he wants to get drunk, then he can start his own business and use that money to buy booze." The jabs keep coming here: