I went to the Walworth County Fair last weekend and stepped in cow crap, which made it similar to the Wisconsin State Fair. The harness racing was cool, made forty bucks on the kids around me betting on the wrong horse, couldn't believe they didn't know the one that pooped last would win. The stand with Strawberry Milk ran out, which made me yearn for Senator Kohl's milk at the Wisconsin State Fair, uh, strike that, I don't "yearn" for Senator Kohl. I won Packer tickets in a fundraiser auction at better than an ebay price, but couldn't afford the giant carving of a beaver made out of some million year old tree stump which understandably went for $800. My kids had a great time spending my money on games nobody on earth can win. Why did the carnival helpers think my name was Mark? And why did they smell like cabbage? Relearned that farmer's daughters are hot no matter what.
Two people were the victims of a robbery about 4 a.m. Aug. 3 as they walked on Oakland Ave. at Belleview Ave. The robber knocked down one of the victims and took a cell phone. It's funny that you read this account, and I feel like I somehow stole your old-ass cell phone from when the story was written. To help make me feel better, I offer this:
New York Governor and former Attorney General Eliot Spitzer became the latest victim of a Pussitocracy run amok. In what is becoming a growing problem, over-achievers are finding it more and more difficult to get laid, and as a result are finding themselves left with no choice but to buy a piece of ass.