The US State Department, in response to accusations that Americans are uninformed about world politics, has released a new plan to help the most powerful nation’s people to better understand the rest of the world. The method used will not include memorization or difficult tests. Rather, the United States will rename other countries, governments, and religions to make discussing them more relevant to Americans. “Most Americans sound stupid when trying to discuss world politics,” says Secretary of State John Kerry. “The goal of renaming the world is so that we can discuss real issues with our friends and neighbors without getting confused and calling each other names.” 
 
While most Americans can tell a Brit, a Frenchman, or an Aussie by accent alone, the average American has no idea how to identify the differences between people from China, Japan, Korea, or The Phillipines. Americans cannot tell an Argentine from a Brazilian, and they see Estonians, Hungarians, Bulgarians, and Croatians as basically the same people. “It was easier with colonialism,” admits Kerry. “I mean, we had the Turkish Empire and the British Empire and the USSR. Going back further, there was the Spanish Empire and the Holy Roman Empire.” While fewer empires exist today, Americans can benefit from thinking of the world in the same simplistic way, claims Kerry. Under the new world borders, the following regions would exist: 
  • United States of America or just America
  • Canada
  • Mexico
  • Russia
  • South America (includes Central America)
  • Southern Africa
  • Northern Africa
  • Middle East
  • Eastern Europe
  • Western Europe
  • England
  • France
  • Germany
  • Asia (includes all Pacific islands)
  • Australia
 
The following government types would exist: 
  • Democracy (as recognized by US Government and/or individual citizen, which makes it subjective)
  • Regime (any non-democracy or not understood government)
 
The following religions/languages (relanguages ®) would exist:
  • Christian/English
  • Christian/European
  • Jewish
  • Muslim
  • Eastern
  • Native
 
With America's now longstanding position as the most powerful country in the world, most of its citizens simply do not care about the rest of the world. People are fine with using online translation tools and connection methods rather than in-person means by which to insult those from different cultures. As one American put it, "English is better than that Muslim language anyhow."  
 
Renaming other countries so that our citizens can better interpret the world is not much different from retaining the standard system of measures rather than adopting metric. As a nation, Americans understand miles, pounds, and ounces. "Taking an inch would be like taking several tons of firearms from Americans," said Tina Butcher, who runs the weights and measures section of the National Institute of Standards and Technology along with her husband Ken, who together represent measurement royalty in America. And when I say tons, I mean standard American 2000 pound tons, not the non-American 2240 pound long ton or metric tons equaling 1000 kilograms. Kilos are for South American drug lords, not Americans."
 
Once Americans grasp where the Middle East is located, the fact that most countries there are Muslim in religion and language, and the fact that almost all of their governments are regimes, those Americans will be able to fruitfully discuss politics of the region with other interested parties, especially those from America.  Once Wikipedia adds the new American categories to its articles, citizens will be able to better understand the information found on the website. "I can see a day," said Kerry, "when all Americans will not only be members of the most powerful country in the world but also understand why that is the case, at least at a very basic fourth-grade level."
 
Examples of classifications:
 
 

country

Americanized region       

government

relanguage ®

Honduras, Brazil, Peru, El Salvador, Argentina, etc.

South America

regime

Christian/European

Angola, Ivory Coast, Nairobi, Zambia

Southern Africa ('sub-saharan ')

regime

Native

Thailand, China, India, Japan

Asia

regime

Eastern

Canada

Canada

democracy

Christian/English

Morocco, Algeria, Egypt, Libya

Northern Africa

regime

Muslim

 

Friday, July 13, 2007 44324
Don Imus, the much-maligned syndicated radio personality, will teach a breakout session at the National Organization for Women Conference in Detroit this July. He has decided to pay penance for his remarks about the Rutgers women’s basketball team (calling them nappy-headed hos) by presenting on “Why (White) Men Fear (Black) Women” during an early-bird breakout session, just after “Yoga With Grace Welch.” In his workshop, Don Imus is scheduled to talk about how the patriarchal society he lives in has shaped him into a person who does not value women in general and Black women in particular. Imus is said to be preparing his materials during his two-week suspension from the radio. He will discuss the depiction of women in America from the early captivity and moral novels to today’s personal narratives of abuse and other stuff men don’t care about. Imus will then take on the depiction of all women in the media, and especially the depiction of Black women as either hos or big mamas. He is planning on delving into the objectification of women in pornography, the marginalization of Asian women through happy-ending or fortune cookie jokes, the conceptualization of American Indian women as squaws, the visualization of Italian women as hairy and good cooks, the metamorphosization of Latinas from oppressed housewives to big-bootied-hos in pop music, and the externalization of all women as either hos or mothers. While some women have protested Imus being invited to the conference, others see it as a learning opportunity, both for themselves and for him. An organizer of the event said, “Mr. Imus will be repenting for his sins against the brotherhood of women and offering us a forum during which we may yell at him on a more personal level.” Women from the Rutgers basketball team have cried foul over the invitation, and have vowed to boycott the NOW conference, just as they now boycott the show. “We used to listen to Don Imus before games to get us pumped-up,” said one player, “but now that he’s just another white devil, we’ll listen to the John Tesh show instead. Or, maybe we’ll watch us a Lifetime movie, because them ladies know how to handle a trifling man, with a shovel to the head or a 2” heel to the eye.” Team members have also vowed to not use any relaxer in their hair in order to demonstrate to Imus just how nappy a head of hair can get. The future of Imus’s radio show is uncertain, especially with the potential loss of African-American female listeners. He has already been dropped from television, but Imus is confident that his new brand of sensitive talk will bring in more listeners who want to confront their own hegemonical views of women as weaker, more emotional, and less intelligent, not to mention better at cleaning and care-giving.
Monday, January 09, 2017 5426
Education Week offered ten questions that it assumed Betsy DeVos, incoming education secretary, would not answer. However, Real Wisconsin News has obtained the following answers from the Trump appointee (in bold). You've been a strong advocate for charters. Nationally, only about 6% of students attend these schools. Leaving aside the question of whether charters have outperformed non-charter public schools, what are your plans to improve the non-charter public schools: improve the teacher force, build capacity, and strengthen leadership and teaching? The way to improve most public schools is to shut them down. When you have a business that fails, you declare bankruptcy and default your creditors, and that's the way education needs to work. Schools are terrible. Do you believe in adequate school funding? You have been a major supporter of ALEC, which has encouraged governors to cut funds for public education. Following the ALEC playbook since the recession, Indiana reduced funding for public schools which serve 93% of the children by over $3-billion while giving a $539-million increase to charters and $248-million increase for voucher students who represent only 7%. Many other states such as North Carolina have followed suit. Is this your plan for the nation? Yes. That sounds terrific. When the schools that are failing fail, then those that are run by for-profit corporations will take over. If these fail, it's not a big deal. Another company will step in. Your percentages confuse me because it's about doing what's right. The federal IDEA requires states and school districts to provide all necessary services to students with disabilities, but federal funding to support these services has steadily declined, and there is evidence that spending on special education is encroaching on spending for other educational services. Should federal funding for special education be increased, or reduced? Should states and local districts be given more flexibility in how they serve students with special needs? We will continue to mandate IDEA to public schools, so there should be no whining from special ed teachers or militant parents. Federal funding, however, will be reduced. Thank you. President-elect Trump has pledged to allocate $20-billion of funding for voucher programs nationwide. Do you believe this is a realistic figure? If so, where will that money come from? Would you consider allocating Title 1 funds for this purpose? The money will come from public school districts that pay teachers big salaries and huge retirements for disastrous performance. In your voucher plans would all religious sects be allowed to have a voucher school? If no, who would choose from among the sects? Just not Muslims. Or Satanists. Or Spanish Catholic schools. The rest are fine. One of the critical roles played by the U.S. Department of Education is to protect the civil rights of children in our nation's public schools. Among the kinds of issues that the Office for Civil Rights (OCR) has dealt with in recent years are charges of denial of services to disabled students and English learners, discrimination against LGBT students in terms of access to services and facilities, and charges of sexual harassment and assault on college campuses. What steps do you as Secretary plan to take to ensure that no students in any of the protected classes is denied the educational services to which they are entitled under the law? I couldn't even make it to the end of the question because I was laughing so hard. Have Hollywood make a movie about it. Last month, a coalition of human and civil rights groups signed a letter voicing their concerns about your commitment to protecting civil rights of all students, including LGBTQ youth. How do you answer the charge that your past support for groups such as Focus on the Family and the Family Resource Council raise legitimate concerns about your commitment to safeguarding the civil rights of all students? Do you believe that the government should help to create safe environments in schools for LGBTQ youth? The current safe environment in schools encourages all students to be dumber than their counterparts overseas. Education is not about singing around a campfire together. In 2015, you made the following comment during a speech: " Many Republicans in the suburbs like the idea of school choice as a concept...right up until it means that poor kids from the inner city will invade their schools. That's when you will hear the sentiment - 'well, it's not really a great idea to have poor minority kids coming to our good suburban schools.' Although they will never actually say those words aloud. " What resources and oversight will your office provide to school districts seeking to desegregate their schools? Vouchers for everyone. Then it's up to parents to transport kids and schools to let them in. It's really a moral choice. Maybe sports-related, sometimes. But no one really wants to have to hide their purses when they visit the local school. Former Michigan state schools Superintendent Tom Watkins, a fellow advocate of charter schools, has said that in Michigan, " in a number of cases, people are making a boatload of money, and the kids aren't getting educated ." The vice president of the state Board of Education cited the lack of charter school regulation that has led to " financial oversight and transparency " issues. On your website , you state clearly that you are an advocate of "strong accountability." Yet, groups you are connected to, including the Great Lakes Education Project and the Michigan Freedom Fund, opposed legislation that would have increased accountability for charters in Detroit. Can you clarify your position on regulating charter schools, in that instance, and more broadly? What should regulation for charter schools look like, in practical terms? If a company makes a boatload of money, then it deserved that money. Parents will decide with their vouchers which schools deserve boatloads of cash and which public schools will close. That's making America Great Again. Over 1-million U.S. students live in isolated rural areas. How do your ideas about charters and choice help them? Really, out of your ten questions, one was about retards, one about queers, and then one was about the one million kids living in the middle of nowhere? This is the perfect example of how political correctness has destroyed public schools. The answer, to all three, is, who the hell cares? We can educate most of the US kids for half as much, and then the parents of the sub-groups can all ship their kids off to boarding school in California. Whatever.

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