New Jax Witty

• Wanna Get Flamed on NextDoor in Jacksonville? Suggest Masks
  A neighbor went to a local ice cream shop where none of the employees were wearing masks, so she posted that she did not order anything and asked if anyone knew the manager. She wasn't really irate or mean-spirited in her post, just saying she was surprised that the business had no mask policy on Mothers' Day, 2020. We learn later in the post that she has a family member who has contracted the virus and another one who works at a hospital, which she mentions after some of the comments.

  
  
  
• Rosa Parks Homeless Park?

  Rosa Parks Homeless Park

  I've driven past the Rosa Parks Transit Station several times since it closed, and I noticed that quite a few homeless individuals line the streets nearby. Since a bus terminal is an eyesore already, and this one is just fenced off, I was wondering if maybe we'd be better off just combining two eyesores into one, making the Rosa Parks Homeless Park out of the bus station. 

  
  
  
• A Month Later, Still No Federal Unemployment in Florida
  I quit a job as a teacher just before Covid-19 hit because I figured I couldn't stay safe in the classroom with my rheumatoid arthritis diagnosis (and all the meds I was taking to suppress my immune system). Of course, that was two weeks before schools closed for the year. Oh well, not a big deal, right? Even if I don't technically qualify for Florida's rinky-dink unemployment, at least I'd be getting the $600 from the federal government to help cover the Lyft and Uber rides I was not taking to avoid getting and spreading the virus. After trying hundreds of times, I sent my unemployment form in the mail. A month later, I got an email telling me to log into the same broken-down Connect system in order to submit myself to more torture, since it's still broken-down as of May 20th.
  

  
  
  
• Profiles in Courage: Too Cool Cal From California
  I picked up this guy from California who mostly just coughed his way through the ride, so I didn't get to know him real well. I am sure that's for the best. I like to have a positive opinion of my riders, if at all possible, but you know how first impressions go. It's sad when you end up with a lasting negative impression of someone, but I think some people try really hard to make sure that's exactly what you get. And it was more than just a little coughing (actually, a lot of coughing) that caused my impression, albeit not that much more. 

  
  
  
• Getting Accepted to Every College
  
  

  When I saw the article about a local Jacksonville student getting accepted to all the Ivy League colleges, I assumed he was a very good student who lacked some direction or guidance. Heck, I applied to at least two colleges back in the day, just to have a back up. And I probably should have made it a third, since I did end up going to a local commuter college rather than one where I could play football and be a big man on campus. So I kind of understand applying to several universities, just in case something doesn't work out. If your goal is to attend an Ivy League school, and it really doesn't matter which one, then I guess applying to all of them is a good idea. Then it's just a bonus if you get accepted to all of them, and you can spend a little more time deciding. I am sure there are plenty of stories of students who have applied to every Ivy League college and not gotten into ANY of them. Sure, no one really wants Cornell when you could have Harvard, Princeton, or Yale, but it's probably an OK backup plan.
  

  
  
  
• Mountain Style Home in Jacksonville?
  I was surprised to see a vacant lot for sale about a mile away from my house because it's in a neighborhood with homes built in the 1990s. What was even more surprising, however, was the description that began with:
  
  

  Great opportunity to build a mountain style home on this attractive lot.

  
  

  
  
  
• Watch Out For Local Truck For Sale Scam
  I was talking to someone who was admiring my new vehicle. In the conversation, she told me she had nearly been scammed out of $800 in a deal for a truck that was too good to be true. Luckily, she pulled the plug on the deal because she discussed it with others who helped her to see the truth. I started thinking that there are likely a lot of people who are social distancing and not able to ask friends for advice, making them more susceptible to scams. Let's take a look at how this truck scam works.

  
  
  
• Drunken Army Vet With a Bad Attitude Tests My Patience
  Sometimes, you can't really win, so it's best just to play along. I got a Lyft ride call recently for a guy, we'll call him G.I. Joe, who called almost as soon as I accepted the ride. He started complaining about how he'd been dropped off and was waiting at a bus stop. I told him I just got the call, so it wasn't really my fault. When I got to the bus stop, he was smoking a cigarette and drinking booze out of a tumbler. Luckily, he threw out the cigarette and got in, but he didn't have to tell me (though he did) that he was blind drunk at noon. 

  
  
  
• LyftUber In-Car Electronic Conversation Starter
  I am not always the best at starting conversations, but I am pretty adept at talking once I get going. That's why I decided to create a slide show for my rideshare vehicle. I'll go through a bit of what I wanted to create and how I ended up getting it done.
  

  
  
  
• Please Won't You Be My Neighbor
  My neighbors next door just moved out, and I am looking for a responsible family to move in. Here's what I'm looking for in my new neighbor, even though it's not my rental property and I don't have any real say in who lives there.