New Jax Witty

• Male Fashion and Lifetstyle: Cute Kids at the Gun Show
  I've always heard that women dig a man with kids. Since I was happily married when I had kids, I guess I wouldn't know. If you happen to be an uncle in search of a special lady, however, I'd recommend babysitting in order to show off the kids at a gun show.
  

  
  

  Sure, I had a dad belly myself in the preceding photo, but I still had some muscle left in my arms, and the best way to show off those guns was by holding a kid. Unlike holding a beer, you look responsible. Plus, little ones are so squirmy that they actually do make your muscles work, so you're not just flexing for no reason, like when you stand in front of the mirror at the gym. If you're a single uncle on the prowl, grab the kids and head to the mall, grocery store, or library, and watch the magic happen. 

  
  

  I would not recommend taking the kids to the bar or an actual gun show. Or anywhere that you could lose them easily. Maybe go to the park, but most of the hotties there are going to have kids of their own. You don't need to be a homewrecker, and you certainly should not use a toddler as your wing man if that's your intent. Anyhow, the morality of the whole scenario is kind of up to you. I'm only here to guide you with the basics of looking more handsome by adorning yourself with children. 

  
  

  Luckily for me, my wife thought I was more handsome with the kids in tow. If you are a husband with a strained marriage, then she might see you with resentment when you get to grab the kids and look all handsome while she's busy doing the real work around the house. Just ask her how you can help once in a while.

  
  

  Honestly, I think the best thing a man or woman can do in order to look good with kids is act as if that's where he or she wants to be. Others respond well to moms and dads (and uncles on the prowl) who look like they are having fun with the kids. That's not always easy, but if you can make parenting or babysitting look easy, then people assume you can handle anything, even a high-maintenance girlfriend.  

  
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• Guide to Running a Hurricane Newscast
  Before I begin this article, I want to state that I am grateful that Hurricane Dorian missed Jacksonville, and I am also very aware that the storm's destruction was catastrophic for some. This article is not about trivializing a hurricane. It's more about trying to fill air time when the hurricane shows up and is just a wind storm in your area.
  
  The only torture worse than waiting for a hurricane to hit is watching hours of news leading up to the event. And then hours of news people trying to make a small, off-shore hurricane seem like something else in order to keep viewers tuned in. The news channels know a lot of people are watching, so the show must go on, and on, and on. The stars are the weather people, but you need the anchors to provide words such as "devastating" to describe storm potential, as well as general assignment reporters stationed at important spots in order to monitor that which needs no actual monitoring.
  
  
  I can't talk about the other channels too much, since Action News JAX is the channel that comes in on my antenna better than any other, but I sure can talk about the Fox 30 / CBS 47 news reporting of a hurricane. This article was compiled over two days, so it might seem as disjointed as the news coverage of Dorian, but it gives you an idea of how I see the business of covering a hurricane. It happens that this particular hurricane did not do a whole lot to Jacksonville, which (you could tell) was a general disappointment to the news media that needed to be explained rather than hailed as extraordinarily good luck.
  

  
  

  Ads and Weather Team
  
  Mostly, the ads indicate that something bad is, was, or will be happening. Buresh is calm and will help me make it through. It does not mention the reporters, whose job it is to add to the chaos and fear. But that's cool, as long as Buresh is there for us. Also reporting weather will be Garrett, who is seemingly more handsome than any man deserves to be (and is therefore a little suspect), as well as Corey, and Stacey. They will save us from the evil that is nature. God-like, I suppose, though Stacey Garvilla, in her flowing dresses, often seems more like a sea witch--the good kind. Also, I did not see Marithza Ross in the two days that I watched on-and-off, but she also probably has some supernatural qualities. 

  
  The most important part of the newscast is the weather, so we get a lot of that, but it's changing all the time, so the weather people need others to keep us entertained while we wait for new info-graphics or updated maps. Until the weather team has been on the air for the better part of 24 hours straight, they are pretty spot-on. You can tell that Buresh starts to get tired at some point when he's walking in the wrong direction or peering into the wrong camera, which he never does when he's well-rested. He tries really hard not to seem cranky or embarrassed about the fact that the high winds are about 5 miles offshore rather than battering our coast, but you know that he's trying to convince people it made sense to cancel school for three days for a storm that's equivalent to an afternoon thunderstorm. He also knows that he needs ratings, and that he needs to keep it together enough so that we believe the next hurricane forecast rather than assume it's all about sensationalism. It's not, at least for the weather team.

  
  

  Anchors

  More worthless than normal, the anchors are really there to direct traffic. Out to the reporters when the weather team needs to work on their computers. Back to themselves for expert opinions on being good-looking on TV. Then over to the weather team, sometimes with a question that's already been answered 30 times during the past two days of coverage. Lots of thoughts and prayers, along with reminders to be safe. If it was a family, the anchors are Mom and Dad, the meteorologist is your straight-laced-know-it-all, god-like grandpa, and the sports guys are your dopey uncles with beer-holder hats (and luckily not part of the hurricane coverage). And the reporters. They are the tattle-tale cousins and siblings who are always looking to get a better Christmas gift from Grandma if they bust you for riding on the ATV or climbing the silo without permission.
  
  

  Reporters

  Russel Colburn is in St. Augustine in his Storm Tracker Jeep, driving up and down the same flood-prone street, and continuously resting on his laurels on how he drove around in the last hurricane when it flooded the town, showing us video of that rerun over and over, like Uncle Rico making awesome throws on VHS. At one point, Russ assures us that his Jeep is made for this kind of stuff, so we don't have to worry about him. He also calls attention to the 360 cam on top of the Jeep, and I start to wonder if he takes it home and washes it every week instead of spending time with his girlfriend. From what I can tell, Russel is driving up and down the same street. Or maybe he is just showing us a loop of a drive he took several hours ago and he's sitting in the Jeep in his driveway. And you know the other reporters are all wondering why Russel gets to drive around like he's the Pope while they all stand in water to get stories. 

  
  

  Someone is near the Beach Boulevard Bridge. This is presumably because the bridge will be closed at some point. She's also near some boats, so we get to see them dance around behind her once in a while. Maybe the someone is Megan? Moriarty...you know, she reminds me of my wife a few years back. In fact, why are most of the reporters still in college at Action News Jax? Is this an internship? Maybe Miss Moriarty was by the bridge. Maybe it was Christy "Page" Turner, who says the words "Action News JAX" with a special emphasis on the "s" sounds, possibly as some kind of subliminal message. The good kind. I don't think it was Amber Krycka because she was standing near another bridge by Jekyll Island. Wait, were most of the men on the beach and women next to bridges? I thought Lorena Inclan was also next to a bridge somewhere. Weird.

  
  

  Ryan and Jamario are on the beach. Each of them shine flashlights on the dunes and then out to the water, which isn't really all that intense. Businesses are closed, but it's late at night, so that makes sense, anyhow. Both of them also say that they are monitoring something or other. And they both let the water creep up enough to get their shoes wet. It's like when you go to Summerfest on a sweltering day with that girl from school who's all innocent and nice, and then a downpour rolls in, and she goes and stands in the rain, arms reaching up in ecstasy, in her white concert shirt. Except this is Ryan and Jamario instead. 

  
  

  Dani Bozzini is somewhere, but I don't even care where she is, since she talks like she just got off work at the steel mill. Or out of prison. She tells me something about the place she's at and all I can hear is this loud, brash girl my sister tried to fix me up with at a bar one time. All the other people at the bar were looking at us, so I didn't hear a word she said because I was all worried about what those other people were thinking. Still, I'd probably hang out with Dani at a bar.
  
  Ben Becker stands in the water, which probably makes the waves look bigger. His camera operator avoids showing all the families enjoying strolls on the beach as Ben reminds us about how the pier fell down twice before. And that the construction crane (near the people sightseeing on the beach) could fall down at any time, since it's rated at getting through winds of 150mph, and our 40mph winds are somehow somewhere near that. Buresh and his hand puppet Garrett agree that you could maybe add 20mph to the winds up at the top of the crane, not based on any science or reasoning, but on the fact that they want to shut Ben up before he starts making any other outlandish claims. Until next time Becker's number is called, the crane is not in any immediate danger. In between being live, I imagine Ben going over to the crane and trying to rock it back and forth to get the party started.
  
  Elizabeth Pace is standing in water in a neighborhood. She interviews a guy who seems annoyed by her because he has somewhere to be walking to, and she says  the word "again" like she's either Canadian or from East-Coast old money. She tells me about the jackasses making a wake in the street water, and the only one that I've seen doing this is Russel (The Love Mussel?), who actually got yelled at by the fuzz live on the air for making a wake in his beloved Storm Tracker Jeep. Pace rhymes with face, and Elizabeth has a pretty face, but she just needs to say her "Action News JAX" sign-off in some kind of special way (like C. Turner) so that I can pick her out of a lineup of reporters, which would include Amber K and several other young blondes who seem to work part time while attending UNF.
  
  Bridget Matter is standing in, and then walking in, a St. Augustine street, which is filled with 6" of water. She could be walking on the dry sidewalk 30 feet away, but it makes more sense to get in the way of traffic in order to show the audience what 6" of water looks like in a street that she admits floods quite often. Probably right after Mom and Dad in the studio reminded us to stay out of flood waters because of snakes, bacteria, and debris.
  
  For all the constant warnings to residents to stay out of the water, it seems that the first instinct of every reporter is to go stand in some water. I'm sure that's in the Hurricane Reporting Handbook by Jim Cantore. I also found it ironic that the news reporters kept pressing local sheriffs about whether or not people who got IN the water to surf or whatnot would get arrested, almost as if they were tattling. No police officer wants to have to arrest some gnarly righteous dude who's just trying to catch a monster wave. He'd probably rather arrest Ben Becker for standing waist-deep in the ocean near the pier for no good reason, other than to keep people going for a nice walk on the beach out of the frame.
  
  Final Thoughts
  Hurricane news coverage is all about manipulation of the audience. The news channels will say again and again that they are not sensationalizing the coverage, but the reporters are all stationed in places that they are hoping will provide something sensational. We are shown pictures of past destruction, either from the storm upon us or from previous storms, and that's certainly meant to frighten viewers. Sure, the weather team is calm and scientific, but everyone else is part of a circus set up to attract the most viewers. If the city or the news wants to use the sensational to get people to evacuate, that's one thing, but once the coverage of the event starts, I'm not so sure it's what I want to see as I ignore evacuation orders in my home--I'd rather know if there's water or wind coming my way. That said, I totally understand why it's done, since I'd change the channel pretty quickly if I had to watch Bachman stumble over simple words for hours on end. Mostly, I'd just tell reporters to stop standing in the water so much, since it makes the practice seem like the cool thing to do. It's not like I need to go stand in my pond every time it rains just to confirm it's wet outside.
  
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• New-to-Florida Guide to Pressure Washers
  I got the dreaded letter from my HOA that I was in violation of something new. This time, it was the driveway and sidewalks that were deemed dirty, so it was suggested that I pressure wash them. While I'm not a big fan of pressure washing houses or cars, as it can (I assume) create leaks or strip paint, I figured washing concrete was a DIY job I could handle. However, I needed to decide if a rental or a purchase was in order. 

  
  

  I first thought rental. That would have cost me $75, assuming I would have gotten the pressure washer for a day. Since I have some issues with my hands, and it seems that there's lots of squeezing of triggers, I'd assume I would have wanted it for the full day. There's also the hassle of having to reserve it for the weekend, or else get the item after work and hope the sun doesn't set too fast. I had two weeks to comply with my HOA demands, so there was probably time, but I also decided to see which pressure washers I could buy for a reasonable amount of money. 

  
  

  The Home Depot rental would have been a professional gas unit, but I wanted to see what I could get in electric. Obviously, the average homeowner does not need an industrial-strength pressure washer sitting around, especially a gas one that requires maintenance. There are all kinds of websites that claim to rate pressure washers, but I get the feeling that they are all just AI-created sites that take Amazon ratings and put them into paragraphs. The good thing is that those sites at least eliminate some of the cheap Chinese knockoff units. Granted, all the units are probably Chinese, but some that are sold seem to inflate numbers and use inferior fittings and pumps. In fact, I'd stick only with brands that seem to be real and that offer a 1 or 2-year warranty. These include AR, Sun Joe, Greenworks, Karcher, and Stanley. 

  
  

  When you search on Amazon, there will be a lot of "Sponsored Links" to units that look quite a bit like the units named above, more impressive numbers, and about 20 5-star reviews. That's a clear sign that those are knockoffs. They might be made in the same factory in China, but I'd be careful with those. 

  
  

  I had decided on either an ARor Karcherpressure washer at first, though the Karcher seemed too pricey for the numbers it put out. The Sun Joe I liked had more lower-star reviews. Then I read some more, and I talked myself out of and into several upgraded or downgraded versions. Here's the basics that I was looking for: around 2,000 PSI and around 1.5 gpm. If those two numbers are about that (and not inflated), the reviews seemed to indicate the unit would work to kill dirt on my driveway. 

  
  

  After going back and forth on Amazon, I ended up finding a Stanley on Walmart (also on Amazon) that met my criteria and could be at my house in one day, which was important at this point, since the HOA letter was now about a week old. The two mega-companies are selling the unit for the same price, so it's more about which billionaire you want to support. The numbers on mine: 

  2,150 PSI
  1.4 GPM
  25 Foot Soft Flexible Hose
  35 Foot Power Cord
  0°, 15°, 25° & 40° Nozzles
  2-year warranty 

  When I got the box, I could tell parts (pump, at least) were made by AR. That probably explains the better warranty. But would this electric pressure washer work on my Florida driveway and sidewalk? 

  
  

  Yes and kind of. 

  
  

  I tested the unit out with the 0° nozzle, and I could tell that it was powerful enough to take dirt off the sidewalk.I could also tell that this laser beam-type nozzle would take hours and hours of frustrating work to finish a driveway and sidewalk. It kind of made a bunch of squiggly lines of clean surrounded by lots of dirt. 

  
  

  I then used the 15° nozzle, and it worked pretty well. Still, I could tell it would take several hours of work to get the job done, but at least this nozzle was more like a paintbrush than an erratic pen. 

  
  

  I also tried the 25°, but it required me to get very close to work, which basically made it the 15° nozzle with me bent over more. 

  
  

  Several hours later, I was done. I've read that the concrete scrubber attachments for these electric models don't work all that well, but I cannot confirm or deny that. What I can say is that for $150, or double the amount to rent a machine, I was able to buy a power washer that had enough pressure to do the job, eventually. 

  
  

  If I find other projects around the house before the next driveway and sidewalk cleaning, that's a bonus, but I figure I'll clean the concrete once a year and make the purchase worthwhile before the warranty is up. This pressure washer, like many others, has a foam cannon for cars, so I might have to try that out, too. But mostly, I'm satisfied that it did the job it was supposed to do. 

  
  

  One note, however, is that there is no lock on the handle, which means my hands got very tired until I wrapped a wire around it like I have for my old lawnmower. This is obviously not recommended by the manufacturer and could be dangerous, so I'm not telling YOU to do it, but if you have to squeeze a trigger for two hours, it will probably annoy you. 

  
  

  This is probably the best unit I could get for a few reasons: 

  It has a 2-year warranty, and even the ARs only have 1-year.

  It uses the standard quick-connect attachments as opposed to proprietary, and I might get an attachment to take care of the sewer main line. 

  It has enough power to get the job I wanted done without the need for gas power. 

  It's electric, so no maintenance. And quieter than gas.

  It's small enough to fit in the yard shed with my lawn mower. 

  
  
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• Male Fashion and Lifestyle: $100 Shoes
  If you've read some of my other blogs about male fashion and lifestyle, you're not impressed right now. $100 shoes! That's way too expensive, and I agree. But I'm not talking ONE pair of shoes, my friends. That's FOUR pairs of shoes. $25 each, on average.
  
  I got a new job, and my old shoes were looking a little rough, as you can see in the photo. I had wondered why I was sliding around while going in for my interview in my $12 suit. Anyhow, I had a few days before the job was to begin, so I figured I'd splurge on some new shoes. My daily cross-walkers were in bad shape, too, so I decided two pairs of dressier shoes and two pairs of walking/standing shoes would be nice. But the way I shop for shoes, it's kind of a gamble. 

  
  

  I sometimes get shoes when the kids get theirs if there's some kind of BOGO deal or something. Or I get the really cheapo Academy Sports house brand, but I'd checked those out recently, the style was a little too young for me. That's ironic, since $30 shoes at the local sporting goods store must be targeted at cheap oldish guys like me, not millennials with cash to burn. Anyhow, with the brick and mortar stores not doing it for me, I spent about 30 minutes on 6pm.com. I'd gotten shoes there before, and I was fairly happy with the results. You just have to remember that these are going to be total clearance aisle deals, which means last chance before they head off on a plane for Uganda or somewhere, which means some of the shoes are really stupid looking. 

  
  

  I've been the same size since middle school, so that's not much of a problem. You can search for just your size. I was prepared to up or down a haf size, but I didn't have to in the end, since my daughter liked the black dress shoe in my normal size. Unfortunately, that was the only shoe that came which felt a little too big, but still manageable. I think it's free returns or whatever, but for $25, I told my daughter I'd just donate any pair that didn't work out. 

  
  

  Two pairs of Avia cross trainers or whatever the sporty shoes that you don't really play sports in are called. Avias used to be a decent brand, and these are pretty nice for $25. Better than some of the $40 shoes I've gotten in the past few years, anyhow. I also got some black dress shoes that have kind of a casual look to them, since I'm not trying to impress too much. And a pair of brown shoes for those days when brown shoes work best. Three or four times a month, from past experience. The dress shoes, even though they are not real leather, should last me a few years. The Avias should last at least as long as most shoes like them that I buy, maybe a year or so, even though my wife says I should replace them more often. 

  
  

  The bottom line is that I have new shoes that will look good enough for some time, and I didn't have to take out a loan to get them. If you make all kinds of money, then these Clarks are Amazon best sellers at $50 or so, and they look a lot like what I got. If you want to impress yourself and about one other person at work, then these Gordon Rush shoes, which also look similar to my $25 shoes, can be had for $225. You can then join the ranks of guys who talk like this: 

  Well, I always considered myself an a. edmonds guy. But this oxfords immediately caught my attention while perusing at bloomie.

  But just in case you don't hang out at Bloomie's too often, you might want to try your luck at 6pm. 
  

  
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• Why a Private School Parent in Jacksonville Supports the DCPS Sales Tax
  I went from being a public school teacher to a private school parent. I don't always love public schools, but I also don't think private schools are for everyone. However, the existence of strong public schools should be a goal for ALL parents, public and private. 

  
  

  You can bury your head in the sand and your money in the pockets of the private schools, but Jacksonville needs a strong public school system for your private school to matter. It's tempting to just write the public schools off, invite friends and family to your private school, and figure the whole problem is solved. The problem is that Jacksonville still has a very large public school system, even if your kids aren't in it. That means your kids might have friends, neighbors, competitors, and even rivals who attend the local public schools. You should want those children to do well in school, and you should want them to be good human beings. Addressing facilities concerns is always part of running a school, and private schools have to rely on tuition and donations, while public schools have to rely on referendums. While there's a lot of bureaucracy in a large public school, there are also checks and balances, and the powers that be are not going to build something extraordinarily ridiculous just to spend more of your money. They will build and maintain school buildings. 

  
  

  As a private school parent, you also want to kick the charter schools out of the equation, if at all possible. Charter schools are in the business of stealing. These schools steal the best public school students, but they also steal a fair share of private school students, taking some of your kids away. They operate without all the restrictions of public schools, yet receive public money. These schools are often run by groups from other countries who live in mansions and hire only family members. Or they are run by Americans who pad the pockets of local politicians for favors and drive swanky cars. Yes, they are also sometimes run by people who want kids to get a great education, but even those charter schools steal students away from your private school. These schools should not benefit disproportionately in a sales tax for Duval Public Schools. In fact, I'd argue they should not benefit at all, and you probably should, too. 

  
  

  I assume that the goal for those in politics who want to stop any kind of DCPS sales tax (or make it as much about charter schools as public schools) are looking to kill the public school system in Jacksonville. The argument would be that a network of charter schools could provide the same services at a lower cost, with the added benefit of eliminating one of the largest unions in the state. If you're a private school parent, that probably seems enticing. However, a public school system is a stabilizing force in a city. I don't think most of us have the imaginations to even consider the ramifications of opening up Duval to nothing but charter schools. Every two-bit educational consultant in the country would flock in to get a piece of the action. There'd be winners and losers, with losers shuttering schools after years or maybe months. Yes, we can create a free market system for schools in the city, but it's scary to think about how that might look. And if it's really bad, like worse than DCPS now, then your kids and their accomplishments will look weak because there's no real competition. 

  
  

  Whether Duval's public schools get smacked down by investment in charter schools or non-investment in facilities, a poor public school system will continue to send more and more families to St. Johns County. Sure, you can still live here and send your kids to the local private school, but the other families who just want a decent public school will leave Duval for another county, leaving you to live in neighborhoods with retirees, childless millennials, and others who may not share your values. 

  
  

  Lastly, we need decent public schools in Duval because we might need to use them at some point. You might lose that hotshot job you now have. My own kids will graduate from the k-8 school they are at. You might even realize that there are some benefits to sending your kids into a good public school so that they can learn about people who aren't just like their parents. If you're stuck in Duval and the public schools are lacking, then your kids will be stuck in something you'd rather they not have. But that does not have to be the case. 

  
  

  Private school parents pay just as much for Duval County Public Schools as public school parents and charter school parents. Usually more, based on property taxes. Even though my kids go to a private school, my say counts as much as those other parents, and I say that Duval County Public Schools needs to have facilities that are on-par with other large public schools in the state. I also say that charter schools do not deserve ANY of the money, but if they do get some, then I say private schools should be able to get some, too (why not?). I say that I want Duval's students to be able to compete with, challenge, and push my kids, whether they are currently at the same school, will be for high school, or even if they don't meet until college. Mostly, I say that Jacksonville only stays relevant as a city if it can make its public schools desirable to all those people moving to the Sunshine State.  

  
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• Does HOA collect police reports for crimes in my neighborhood?
  Someone on Nextdoor was asking this question, and I was tempted to respond that the only thing HOAs collect is money. The real responses to the question ranged from, "It depends on your HOA" to "That's not part of what an HOA does." While I can understand that crime is separate from house paint and green lawns, since crime is the #1 factor in property values, HOAs probably need to DO something when it comes to crime.
  

  
  

  I read that in a town in the Southwest, an HOA was being sued because a house that had been deemed a nuisance was not foreclosed on, resulting in a child being killed in a drive-by shooting meant for the residents of the nuisance house. I agree with the people bringing the lawsuit. If the HOA's sole purpose is to maintain property values, then people who bring crime to the neighborhood should be forced out, just like someone who might never mow the grass or  pay HOA dues. 

  
  

  When one of our neighbors brought two violent incidents to our block, I wrote to my HOA and to the owner of the rented house. I mentioned the lawsuit above to the HOA, and I told both entities that other neighbors had confirmed to me that the police showed up at the house several times before we'd moved in. I myself had seen a member of the household arrested a couple months before the violence. So three incidents in about four months, and I decided it was time for the family to move on. I never really received much of a response, but the family DID move out within a couple of weeks. Maybe the family realized it was time for a fresh start, but I'd like to think that getting involved helped to push them. However, I also believe the HOA and rental company would have either not known about it or ignored the problem without my letters. 

  
  
  Crime, however, is often a result of people from outside of the neighborhood. That crime itself may not be the responsibility of the HOA, but installing a trail camera on a cell phone plan with a solar power battery pack might do the trick to capture trespassers. Any kind of camera, really. See if the police will install one. Even a fake camera might deter one crime. I'd let a wifi camera on my street use my guest wifi, as well, and I assume some of my other neighbors would, too.

  
  

  The HOA could go semi-all-out and install an automatic gate without a code, along with a powered camera that stores video. If there's no code, anyone can get into the neighborhood, but it slows people down and ensures everyone entering knows they are on camera. The good news is that the roads are still public and part of the city.  

  
  

  Maybe HOA bylaws need to include more about crime and nuisance homes, especially in an area like Jacksonville. Crime is spread out in this town. Maybe back when my HOA was formed in 2004, there was no crime in East Arlington, but that's not the case today. Homeowners need to expect more out of their HOAs, as property value is more about crime than a nice pool and paint color of the houses. 
  
  
  
  
  
  
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• Jacksonville List of Neighborhoods
  I keep seeing all the Jacksonville neighborhoods as backdrops to maps, but I have yet to see them listed for those of us who like lists. So, after using the government websites to find the GIS maps that contain the neighborhoods, I was able to extract the lists of areas in Jax that appear on maps. It could be useful to those of you who also like lists and deal in real estate or something where you'd need the names of all the neighborhoods here.
  
  
  The lists are in alphabetical order by region. Jacksonville is big, so it's divided into six planning zones: A (Arlington and Beaches), N (North), NW (Northwest), SE (Southeast), SW (Southwest), and U (Urban Core). I wanted to make a visual grid map using a table, but it's just so big. Also, I do understand alphabetical, but it would be nice on a map if the letter-number combinations were adjacent, but that's just an opinion, and we're pretty much stuck with alpha order now. I think a couple of names were cut off because of length, but this is a fairly comprehensive neighborhood list for Jacksonville/Duval.
  
  It's also interesting to note that if Jacksonville ever made the move to un-consolidate, the six zones would be the most likely separate cities.
  
  
  

  A01 Alderman Park

  A02 Arlington

  A03 Arlington Hills

  A04 Arlington Manor

  A05 Arlingtonwood

  A06 Atlantic Blvd. Estate

  A07 Atantic Highlands

  A08 Beachwood

  A09 Beacon Hills & Harbour

  A10 Charter Point

  A11 Clifton

  A12 Cobblestone

  A13 Colony Cove

  A14 East Arlington

  A15 Empire Point

  A16 Fara Ways Forrest

  A17 Fort Caroline Shores

  A18 Gilmore

  A19 Girvin

  A20 Glynea/Grove Park

  A21 Golden Glades/The Woods

  A22 Hidden Hills

  A23 Hogan

  A24 Holiday Harbors

  A25 Holiday Hill/Century

  A26 Holly Oaks

  A27 Lake Lucina

  A28 Love Grove/Riviera Ma

  A29 Mayport

  A30 Monterey

  A31 North Beach

  A32 Oak Haven

  A33 Park Ridge

  A34 Regency

  A35 St. Johns Bluff

  A36 St. Nicholas

  A37 Sandlewood

  A38 Southside Estates

  A39 Spring Glen

  A40 University Park

  A41 Woodland Acrea

  A42 Woodmere

  Atlantic Beach

  Baldwin

  Jacksonville Beach

  N01 Biscayne

  N02 Biscayne Terrace

  N03 Black Hammock Island

  N04 Blount Island

  N05 Brown Island

  N06 College Park

  N07 Copper Hill

  N08 Dinsmore

  N09 Duval

  N10 Eagle Bend

  N11 East Point

  N12 Forrest Trails

  N13 Fort George Island

  N14 Garden City

  N15 Highlands

  N16 Hollyford

  N17 Imeson Park

  N18 Jax. North Estates

  N19 Jamestown

  N20 Little Marsh Hill

  N21 New Berlin

  N22 North New Berlin

  N23 North Lake

  N24 Oceanway

  N25 Pecan

  N26 Pumpkin Hill

  N27 San Mateo

  N28 The Cape

  N29 Turtle Creek

  Neptune Beach

  NW01 Allendale

  NW02 Biltmore

  NW03 Bulls Bay

  NW04 Carver Manor

  NW05 Cisco Gardens

  NW06 College Gardens

  NW07 Commonwealth

  NW08 Crystal Springs

  NW09 Edgewood

  NW10 Edgewood Manor

  NW11 Grand Park

  NW12 Harborview

  NW13 Lackawanna

  NW14 Lake Forrest

  NW15 Lake Forrest Hills

  NW16 Lincoln Hills

  NW17 Magnolia Gardens

  NW18 Marrietta

  NW19 Mixon Town

  NW20 Murray Hill

  NW21 New Town

  NW22 Normandy

  NW23 Normandy Estates

  NW24 Normandy Village

  NW25 Osceola Forrest

  NW26 Panama Park

  NW27 Paxton

  NW28 Picketville

  NW29 Ribault

  NW30 Riverside

  NW31 Riverview

  NW32 Robinsons Addition

  NW33 Rolling Hills

  NW34 Royal Terrace

  NW35 Sherwood Forrest

  NW36 Tallulah/ North Shore

  NW37 Whitehouse

  NW38 Woodstock

  NW39 45th & Moncrief

  SE01 Arrowhead

  SE02 Avenues

  SE03 Bayard

  SE04 Baymeadows

  SE05 Baymeadows Center

  SE06 Beach Haven

  SE07 Beauclec

  SE08 Bowden

  SE09 Brackridge

  SE10 Briarwood

  SE11 Craven

  SE12 Deercreek

  SE13 Deerwood

  SE14 Deerwood Center

  SE15 Del Rio

  SE16 Englewood

  SE17 Goodbys Creek

  SE18 Greenfield Monor

  SE19 Greenland

  SE20 Isle of Palms

  SE21 Julington Creek

  SE22 Kilarney Shores

  SE23 Lakewood

  SE24 Loretto

  SE25 Mandarin

  SE26 Mandarin Station

  SE27 Miramer

  SE28 Monclair

  SE29 Pickwick Park

  SE30 Pine Forrest

  SE31 Royal Lakes

  SE32 San Jose

  SE33 San Jose Forrest

  SE34 San Marco

  SE35 Sans Pareil

  SE36 Sans Souci

  SE37 Secret Cove

  SE38 South Riverside

  SE39 South Point

  SE40 Southwood

  SE41 Spring Park

  SE42 Sunbeam

  SE43 Tiger Hole/ Secret Wo

  SE44 Windy Hill

  SW01 Argyle Forrest

  SW02 Avondale

  SW03 Cedar Hills

  SW04 Cedar Hills Estates

  SW05 Chimmey Lakes

  SW06 Confederate Point

  SW07 Duclay

  SW08 Duclay Forest

  SW09 Fairfax

  SW10 Herlong

  SW11 Hillcrest

  SW12 Hyde park

  SW13 Jacksonville Farms/Te

  SW14 Jacksonville Heights

  SW16 Jax Heights West

  SW17 Jax Naval Air Station

  SW18 Lakeshore

  SW19 Maxville

  SW20 McGirts Creek

  SW21 Normandy Manor

  SW22 Oak Hill

  SW23 Ortega

  SW24 Ortega Farms

  SW25 Ortega Forest

  SW26 Ortega Hills

  SW27 Otis

  SW28 Settlers Landing

  SW29 Sweetwater

  SW30 Venetia

  SW31 Wesconnett

  SW32 Yukon

  U01 Brentwood

  U02 Brooklyn

  U03 Downtown Jacksonville

  U04 East Jacksonville

  U05 Fairfield

  U06 Hogans Creek

  U07 LaVilla

  U08 Longbranch

  U09 Midtown

  U10 Mid Westside

  U11 Moncrief

  U12 Phoenix

  U13 Springfield

  U14 Southside

  U15 Tallyrand

  U16 29th & Chase

  
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• Top 4 Spots in Jacksonville's Arlington Neighborhood
  I was on the News4Jax website when I saw an "article" about local restaurants. The article said it was about Arlington restaurants, and I figured it wasn't that big of a deal that my location was being used to show me stories relevant to where I was. However, after reading the short blurbs about the top 4 restaurants in my area, I saw the disclaimer on the bottom of the article:
  

  This story was created automatically using local business data, then reviewed and augmented by an editor.
  

  So, I was not only reading an article that accessed my location in order to serve the right content, but the content itself was provided by the businesses being reviewed. Sure, the star-ratings were from Yelp, which is semi-reliable, but there is no real indication that these four restaurants were the top-rated restaurants on Yelp. I assume that they were the four Arlington restaurants that paid to be part of an advertising article promoting them.
  

  
  

  You can see from the address bar that the article title was "Check Out The Top 4 Spots in Jacksonville's Arlington Neighborhood." While I'm sure the four listed restaurants are just fine, it's disturbing that this content was served to me on a NEWS website as NEWS. It's clearly blatant advertising, paid placement, and not a real review or opinion by a human being. 

  
  

  What's next? Top four crimes this week articles that pull information from JSO's Crime Map? I know, there's no ad money in that, so probably not. The point is that if pretend articles are being pulled from content on paid-service websites and placed on news websites, then we're in trouble. As readers and as writers. Even the images are from Yelp, which means user-submitted. No one did any work on the article in question, and more than likely, the "editor" is in India, curating and augmenting hundreds of pretend articles every day, never having eaten barbeque ribs in her life. 

  
  

  With so much data out there, it's nice to get a quick guide to some decent local restaurants to try, so there's a value to articles like the one that I thought I was reading. I might even like the listed places. It might even be accurate. But it's also wrong. 

  
  
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• My Messy Office
  My messy classroom, home office, and garage all indicate the same thing to people: I must be careless, cranky, and uncaring. That's according to a study that showed two different work spaces to participants. A messy workspace left people with a negative perception of the unknown worker who occupied the space.
  
  
  That's kind of sad, since my mess is part of my creativity. Actually, I have to have a mess somewhere in order to function properly. I used to have a junk drawer when I first got married because my wife is pretty much the opposite of a messy person. She allowed me one junk drawer on the main level, and about half of the three basements we had. And most of the garage. And the tool shed. Those were my messy places.
  
  In Florida, we don't have the built-ins with drawers or a basement, so I have to be better at hiding my messes. It's frustrating, to say the least. The whole point of having a mess is that what I need is right there for me when I need it. I don't want to venture into the garage attic to find what I need. I don't want to have to page through file folders for tax documents when they are all stuffed on my desk where I need them. There should be a pen sitting out and within reach from any location in any room.
  
  The most frustrating, however, is the fact that I can't always find my writing notes. I'll take notes while out at a bar or while at church. Observations for later. And those notes need to be out in the open to remind me of what I need to be writing, like Christmas tree ornaments in my office space, or else I won't ever write those ideas. Then they just get stuffed in a box, which is suffocating for ideas.
  
  I also have to wonder if my bosses over the years have assumed something negative about me because my school desk was always messy. I tried to keep it way in the corner, but it was very, very messy. But that was because I was usually working on planning new lessons, revising old lessons, grading papers, writing, thinking, researching, and contacting people. Sometimes, I'd be testing out video production equipment, hooking various electronic devices into my computer to see what they could do, and generally figuring out if I could improve as a teacher. But it looked like I was somehow careless to outsiders.
  
  All in all, I'm lucky to have a wife who forces me to clean once in a while. If we were both like me, the house would be a disaster all the time, and people would be afraid to come over. And they'd probably think that both of us are careless, cranky, and uncaring.
  
  

  
  
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• There Was a Time When St. Augustine Stole The Biltmore Ads
  There was a time when I saw an ad for St. Augustine, Florida. It was a simpler time, when none of the other ads were about politicians of ill repute. But it seemed to be a time when St. Augustine had decided to infringe upon the terminology associated with Biltmore. It was last year on local TV.
  

  
  
  I saw the St. Augustine ad twice on network television (late 2017, I believe), and it was an obvious lifting of the Biltmore ads I'd seen all the time. You know the ad, wherein we are made privy to this fanciful world where ladies and gentlemen seem to exist and behave a certain way that seems sadly gone most of the time. Yet, it does still exist if you stay in a certain hotel. Maybe one with a hot tub time machine.
  

  
  

  The St. Augustine ad seemed to be a send-up of the Biltmore ad. I don't think the idea was to steal it as much as acknowledge we've all seen the other ad around here. But, of course, it was stealing. Brazenly. So the St. Augustine ad was taken off the air very quickly. As in, some lawyers spent last night at the Biltmore and now it's gone. 

  
  

  I was watching a PBS documentary that said back when Flagler built his St. Augustine hotels and pushed for the railroad to come through Jacksonville rather than terminate there, it ruined tourism in Jacksonville. I'm sure the Biltmore is always watching out for other fancy destinations to pull some kind of stunt that might steal guests away, and if one of those places is going to rip off the exact wording from an ad, then it's pretty obvious. 

  
  
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