The state of Wisconsin is currently considering adding another season for all you hunters out there. Now you could have the chance to legally harvest those wall mounting cardinal, finches, and orioles that have been hanging out around your bird feeder, instead of just the squirrels.Wisconsin State Representative Joel Kleefisch, a Republican and a real man, has proposed a bill that will allow the hunters of Wisconsin a chance to knock down the overpopulated songbird population. Joel stated in a recent interview, “I’m tired of having to fill my bird feeder twice a day in order to feed all those songbirds.” In light of the passing of the bill for mourning dove hunting in 2001 in the state allowing hunting of them for the first time since 1918, hunters are hoping this will also be passed. Jeb Franken stated in an interview: “I’ve been picking off them stupid squirrels for years around my feeder, but what I really want is a nice cardinal roast for supper one of these days. I hope this will be a step in the right direction.”

Videotaped Confession Trounces RumorsWhile he may look great in an expensive suit, Herb Kohl finally admitted Tuesday that he is, in fact, straight. This revelation may come as a surprise to the homosexual community and the Shepherd Express, but actual footage of the senator admitting his orientation can be seen as well in some older Milwaukee Bucks video footage obtained by Real Wisconsin News. In the footage, Big Dog Glenn Robinson asks Senator Kohl if he’d like a sip of his Kool Aide, and Senator Kohl clearly states, “No thanks, Dog. I’m straight.” Big Dog seems to answer with, “I gotcha, big man.