Milwaukee Public Schools will begin its scaling down of actual education in its schools in order to better reproduce the criminal justice system its students are preparing themselves for. The latest budget has job losses in all areas except for social workers, psychologists, safety assistants, and nurses. Teachers will be teaching more students for more hours with less help, but the plan is for the psychologists and social workers to convince students to behave better. If that doesn’t work, of course, the safety assistants are specially trained to subdue students without the use of plastic handcuffs, pepper spray, or knowledge of martial arts by saying things like, “Don’t you make me get up out this desk!” If the safety assistants are useless, the nurses can offer ice packs for black eyes.

Dear Biker Chick Recently my boyfriend tried to stick his brat between my buns. I was not too happy as he didn't even ask and there wasn't enough space between the buns to get that meat in there, if you know what I mean. Also, it was a dry sandwhich which complicated things. Anyway, I bucked him like a bike with too much weight to the back on a quick start and knocked him off the bed. Now he's mad at me even though I'm willing to give it another try. What should I do to get him back in the saddle? Signed Dirt Rhoda Well Dirt, you did the right thing showing him who the boss is. It's one thing to take liberties when you're somewhat expecting it, butt a surprise attack on the rear flank during a dry spell is ruthless. Let him know how you feel by grabbing his brat again and dragging him back to the bedroom by it. Make sure there is ample lubrication for your chassis on the bedstand and tell him to take off his pants. Now here's where you have a decision to make. You can either nibble on this brat a little and with a wet finger play with his inner buns to help him understand the proper mechanics, or you can just stick your buns up in the air and hope he figures it out. I'd recommend the former as most men aren't smart enough or patient enough to figure it out without a little demonstartion first. Also, putting the brat in your mouth a bit will make him forgive and forget anything he's irritated with you for, even though he clearly deserved being bucked.