Cell phones are the best example of this, with many schools trying to impose bans on phones, mainly because they are used to text others during class. However, parents insist that cell phones should be allowed for safety’s sake, and schools must abide by the will of the parents. Also, since students are being trained to be the working masses, they should be allowed the same opportunities to avoid work that they will utilize while working someday.

Here are some of the items and rationale for those items on back to school lists:

1. Cell phones—safety is an issue in schools. Besides, students should learn how to multitask, and someone who is not able to carry on a text conversation and take notes in history class is lacking a very important skill set.
2. MP3 players—most backpack manufacturers have special compartments for these, like the ones that used to exist for writing utensils. How can you enjoy your studies (or your job someday) if you can’t listen to your favorite tunes?
3. TI calculators—these are the ones with all the waste-of-time games, but also the ability to give all the math answers the student will ever need. Very few math concepts are memorized anymore, sometimes to the dismay of old people who had to do it, but the national deficit is a good example of why students should be allowed to use calculators.
4. Bullet-proof backpacks—that’s right, folks (and people), these do exist, and would you want your kid to be the only one without this during a school shootout?
5. Alluring clothing—whether this is bare midriff shirts, halter tops, low-cut or non-fitting pants, students not only should express themselves, but should be given the opportunity to distract their fellow students. Being successful requires the ability to identify the weakness of others and manipulate that for ones own gain, and nothing says that like a mini-skirt.
6. Hats—students who wear hats are preparing themselves for careers in the restaurant/hospitality fields, and should be allowed to familiarize themselves with the attire.
7. Skateboards—the percentage of skaters who will eventually turn pro or end up on television because of a horrendous broken limb caught on tape is much higher than student-athletes who play football or basketball, so students should be allowed to practice for their day of glory.
8. Unhealthy snacks—the American economy is driven by gluttonous desires, and who are we to dictate what the youth can or cannot eat, or when someone should be able to eat it? Anyway, they can work off some calories while playing the Wii later at home. By the way, Combos are very underrated and should be considered.
9. Bullying—students are encouraged to bring their best bullying to the table each and every day. In order to succeed in this country, people need to learn how to bully. Those who are bullied will be encouraged to learn how to deal with it or steal someone’s ideas and start a computer company.
10. Permanent markers—walls in schools tend to be boring and not reflective of what matters most to students. Students should be encouraged to leave their marks on the world, like the people who carve their names into stone at national parks or who proclaim their love for someone on an overpass.
11. Cash—when all else fails, cash is still king, and if a teacher needs a little encouragement to bend the grade a bit, students should not hesitate to use their resources to make it happen. Cash can also be used to purchase assignments or unhealthy snacks (see 8.).