Parents today are faced with a choice—allow your kids to figure things out for themselves, or control their every move. If parents allow kids to be on their own, this freedom will result in pregnancy, drug addiction, and jail time. While some parents are comfortable with allowing their children to become hoodlums, most of us want to be in complete control of our children’s lives, and here’s your guide to taking action.

Lock Them Up! The first and most important step in controlling kids is to simply lock them up. While this may seem a bit drastic, thousands of years of practice has indicated that it does indeed work. You just need to find a room with a strong lock (or install one) and no windows. Attics, closets, or basements work well for this purpose. Some parents may add a dog kennel or a leash/chain for added peace of mind, but a hefty door lock and a keen sense of hearing should suffice. If any windows do exist in your child’s room, simply nail them shut, as most troubled children lack the ability or motivation to use simple tools to escape. Some parents may add motion or touch sensors, or even video surveillance, but a well-locked room is much more cost effective and less detrimental to the resale value of your home.

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