Latest News
Latest News
Fiscal Cliff No Longer Welcome at Cheers
Cliff Clavin, longtime patron of Cheers bar, is said to be no longer welcome to step up to the bar where everybody knows his name as "Fiscal Cliff." The other patrons at the bar had been complaining that they had to spend their time drinking away their problems next to a mail carrier whose salary "rapes our wallets." Norm, often seen as Cliff's best bar friend, had this to say: "Being a straight painter who works for myself, I can't stand freeloaders who work cushy government jobs and then use my tax money to get wasted every day after work. If he wants to get drunk, then he can start his own business and use that money to buy booze."
Read more...Scott Walker Not a Horrible Person
Though Scott Walker has lied to get into office and has taken phone calls from billionaires in office while enacting laws that send Wisconsin labor back 150 years in the hopes that all labor will join them after having gotten into office by having publicly-paid employees campaign for him while on the job, he’s probably not really such a bad guy.
Read more...
Aspirin Between Knees Works as Contraceptive, But How?
Rick Santorum supporter, Wisconsin native, and near-billionaire Foster Friess made a statement that seemed to need a little explaining when he implied that the use of aspirin between a woman's knees could prevent pregnancies. Was he making a joke? Was this a viable option in the past? Does aspirin act as a spermicide? Does he know how to make babies? Real Wisconsin News decided to find out the answers to some of these questions.
Read more...
Hiter to Run for Office in Washington County
Aldous Hiter, a long time Washington County resident, will run for a position as a county supervisor in the upcoming election. His hopes are that, despite his name bearing a resemblance to Aldoph Hitler, he will be elected nonetheless, since he plans on running as a Republican. Hiter said, "I heard that even Adolph Hitler could win in Washington county if he had an "R" before his name, so I figured I'd give it a shot. In most places, people look twice at my name and get a little uncomfortable before they pronounce it, but generally not in this county."
Newt Gingrich Rewrites History/Religion in Debate
Newt Gingrich, in response to a question about gay marriage during the January 7th Republican Debate, said, "The sacrament of marriage is based on a man and woman; has been for 3000 years." He effectively rewrote history with that statement. However, it is unclear what Gringrich's version of history and religion might be, so Real Wisconsin News has taken the liberty to attempt to decipher his view of the world:
Last Updated on Monday, 10 September 2012 23:34